Our Family Stone

Change your Address!

2010-11-11T13:26:00.001-08:00

Just a reminder WE'VE MOVED to http://www.ourfamilystone.org/! Make sure to change your link address or your favourites!!!!

Salvage Giveaway!

2010-11-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a crafty person by nature, in a good way. I can be all Martha Stewart crafty when the mood strikes (and just for the record that's pre-prison crafty, the kind that involves glue, and glitter and ribbon, not red and black pens, calculators and white out) I'm the sort of gal who spends hours upon hours knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching, designing and creating. I love seeing the end result and sharing that with someone else, it brings me great joy. I may not be the best at what I do, but I take pride in it and love every second.

I also spend countless hours with my girls creating, making and sharing. I want them to learn as I have the gift of giving a handmade gift. I also want to teach them the value of receiving something made with love. It's a full circle sort of thing.

Nothing is more exciting to me than visiting a wool shop, or checking out an antique store, and without a word of a lie the annual Christmas craft fair is in my planner, on my Crackberry and written in red on my kitchen calendar to make certain I don't miss it. I'm all sorts of ~~anal~~ cool like that.

Anyways, I have this cousin Stephanie, who's crafty herself, Martha's got nothing on her. I can remember being a kid, and watching her create and craft beautiful Christmas wreaths and the most adorable dolls from mops (clean not dirty ones), I still have my mop doll. She, like many of us crafters has creative mood swings and changes from craft to craft, project to project. Adjusting her style to suite her lifestyle, which is what she's once again done.

She's gone into the salvage business, searching the earth and every garage sale on the continent for one man's trash to turn into another man's treasure. She's repurposes, creates, cleans and rebuilds the vintage into the beautiful and it's amazing! I have yet to visit her shop, but she's created a blog and seeing all her treasures is a pretty sweet deal!

That's what you could win! I love it! (ps, I totally snagged this shot from her blog)

If that weren't cool enough, she's also hosting a giveaway a week for the month! I know! If you weren't already thinking awesome thoughts about her you are now! Anyways, all you have to do is go over and leave her a comment, there's no kick back here to me, I just wanted to share something cool, both the creator and the prize. And hey, why not share a little linking love, everybody loves a good link or 2, right?

So why not go over and browse through her pages and then come back and tell me (just because I'm needy like that and feel slightly neglected by the lack of comments ahem) about your favorite picture, your greatest treasure or if you are a closet crafter?

ps, I'll have her link on the side bar should you ever want to go take a gander at her site again.

We've Moved! And I'm giving something away for FREE!

2010-10-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

Just to tell you the same thing I did the other day, Our Family Stone finally has moved and we're settled! To commemorate the move I'm doing a GIVEAWAY!!!! Click the link and go enter.

Also, be warned that by the end of the month I will be changing this URL to forward directly to the new OFS.

Movin' On Up!

2010-10-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

Ok! It's official, the new site is up and running and I'm exhausted!

I know it's coming as a surprise to many of you, but I've been feeling the urge to take things up a notch around here and move on. So, after much debate, and about 6 months of pondering it over I decided to go solo and purchase a domain name! That's right, I'm doing it without training wheels.

So the new home of Our Family Stone is...

http://www.ourfamilystone.org/

Click and go on over and see! Please change your feed readers, your favourites and your home pages! I still want your visits, I still need your comments and I can't wait for you to join us at the new and improved Our Family Stone.

I'll be leaving this post up for a little bit and then I'll have this URL automatically forwarded to the new space, just in case that happens and you're confused. But please do learn the new and much easier URL (ps, .org makes me giggle).

And in honor of the move and all things fantastic, there will be a new and wicked awesome contest over at the new OFS, starting on Monday!!! It's one that everyone can't miss out on!

So, thanks Blogspot for the past 4 years they've been grand.

Pride Comes at 13.1 Miles

2010-10-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: They finished and the results are as follows (this 1/2 marathon was 13.1 miles, not KM people, MILES!)
Dad - 3 hours 35 minutes and 11 seconds, finished 8876 overall and 2777 in the mens category
Mom - 3 hours 35 minutes and 11 seconds, finished 8877 overall and 6100 in the women's category

Great Job Guys!

I'm going to be late for church this morning. At least, as it stands right now, I'm going to be late. It's 9 am, and I'm supposed to be getting dressed, feeding my kids and heading out the door. Instead, I'm sitting in my recliner, still in my PJ's, glued to my computer.

I'm not stuck here because I'm still trying to design and get ready to release something new and fantastic (although I am and it's pretty much causing my brain to catch fire). It's not because Facebook offers huge amounts of entertainment (haha), or because blogging is that distracting.

WATCH THEM HERE!

This morning I'm sitting in front of my computer watching a video, one that's a live feed from Denver Colorado. And I'm watching it with tears in my eyes, all because of my parents. Partly because my Mom is an emotional soul and passed along the loosely tied tear ducts, but mostly because what they are doing today is so great!

Today they are doing the Rock 'n' Roll Denver 1/2 marathon! Of all the things I thought I would tell you about either of my parents, I never even imagined I would be telling you that they are participating in a marathon of any sort, 1/2, 1/4 or upside down. And yet, here today, they are!

Months ago now, in fact I think it's close to a year ago, my Mom stumbled upon a website called Transformation.com. The events that took place from there are amazing and some of the most life changing she's ever experienced, that we've ever seen in her. Her Transformation story, while not complete is one that is moving and one that I'm going to let her share with you in a guest post that is soon to come.

One of the things that Bill Philips the organizer and founder of Transformation.com does every year is organize a marathon to raise money for the Make a Wish Foundation. This marathon holds so much for so many, the chance to help someone else, another step in their journey, an opprotunity to have a little extra exercise and, for people like my parents - a chance to acheive a dream they didn't even know they had.

An accident a few years ago has left my Mom with a back injury that haunts her days, that makes doing some of the simpliest things excruciating, that has taken so much from her. My Dad has a bad leg, in fact to say he has a bad leg is an understatement. He has a knee that is trashed, destroyed and in desperate need of replacement. Over the years his drive to work hard and get 'er done, has caused him to be less than kind to his body and that body is starting to speak up. Some nights he can't sleep, inspite of the pain medicine, because the hurt is so deep.

Today, they took the back pain and the knee pain and put it aside. In fact it's kind of like they flipped those hurts the bird. My mom has been training for months to do this, because she had to. Because she wanted to, because somebody's little kid needs her to. My Dad has been training, when he's not working right along side her, because she asked him to, because he loves her and because he wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

The pride that I have for the both of them is HUGE! It's intense and it's all consuming! My parents are doing a 1/2 marathon today ya'll, and that is pretty freakin' awesome! I have so much to say, but I don't think I can face saying without sobbing, it's that emotional. Not being there today, to hug them as they cross the line is hard, heartbreaking even.

This transformation thing has given me a new Mom, it's given her perspective, insight and brought into her life new and old friends who, until they arrived she had no idea would be so important to her. They are the voices that encourage when her family can't, they have been the ears that have listened when she's had a broken heart and they've allowed her, a woman with more love in her pinkie than the Dahli Lama has in his whole body to love them back.

Anyways, there's more to share and it will come but for now I'm going to say "Chow!" this blogging is cutting into my watching time and I need to go.

But check out the link above to watch them, and please, if I never ask you to comment again (which I will because I'm needy like that) leave them a comment. Encourage, congratulation, say Hi, tell me your shoe size for all I care, but tell my Mom - Jackie and my Dad - Darwin, how awesome you think they are!

Congratulations Papa and Grammy (Bummy), Mom and Dad - we are so very proud of you today and each one that follows!

The Grey Cloud of Mommy Guilt

2010-10-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

It's up! (Why is that phrase makes me giggle? I know, I know, grow up) That's right there's another post up over at Mamapedia Voices. Today, I'm talking about "The Grey Cloud of Mommy Guilt"

Please go over and take a look, then if you like what you read, link to it on Facebook or Twitter, or link to me here, pretty please! This is one of those topics that for me was a real revolation. I had no idea that I would feel like that, and I had even less of an idea that it was totally normal. Why not share the news and take the stress off those guilt ridden people we call parents.

In Case you forgot, CLICK HERE TO READ!

And if you felt really awesome (which of course you are) come back and tell me what you think. Do you agree? Do you disagree? Share a moment of the guilt with me, let's shed a little light on that cloud and make it not so grey!

A house full of Turkeys

2010-10-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

When I married Corey, I gained so much more than just a husband (although I have to say that's the best part of what I gained). Along with him came a whole new family, to put it technically - The In-Laws. One day I had only 1 younger brother, a mom and a dad, the next I had 3 other brothers (one of whom is older and facing the barrel of 30 this year!), a father-in law, a mother in-law and an almost father in-law (they were married a month after we were). Not to mention all the aunts, uncles and cousins who call Corey family.

As it is with most people, it took time to adjust to my new family. To learn how I fit into their mix and for them to learn where they fit into mine. I could make it all sugary and sweet and say it's been a leisurely walk through Candyland (Bethy's new favourite board game) but that would be a lie.

It's not easy adjusting to new people, I was used to the way my family did things, our traditions and rules, the do's and don'ts of family gatherings and so forth. Corey, was used to the same from his family. And his family is a large one, with parents that have been divorced and re-married/attached and so that juggling act took a while to figure out.

It wasn't all cavities and root canals either, but the past 5 years have seen their share of tense moments, laughter and conversation. We've had babies arrive, more marriages and life changes, and through it all we've been trying to find the mix. It's not totally perfect but I think we're almost there.

We've all learned, maybe the hard way, that when you acquire a new family member there are adjustments to be made. Sacrifices for some, compromise for others and if everyone puts for a decent amount of effort, a good time can be had by all.

I can say without a shadow of doubt, this past weekend saw the rewards of those compromises. We had Corey's Mom, Step-Dad John, brothers Travis, Wyatt, and Scott, Sister in Law Chelsea, and nieces Hayley and Chloe join us for Thanksgiving. We've been planning this weekend since July and the anticipation had certain family members bouncing off the walls by Thursday night, right Cor?

As is my M.O. I worried my way through to the weekend. I baked and I cooked: normally I'm not a horn tooter, but today I'm totally tooting (and not because of the brussel sprouts), we had nanaimo bars, cinnamon buns with cream cheese icing, buns, cookies, cranberry sauce, stuffing, potatoes extrodonaire and gravy all from scratch, and I did that! (we also had brussel sprouts, turkey and carrots but I can't exactly claim "scratch" on stuff that someone else grew), ok I'm done.

Once the weekend arrived, we had a wonderful time, full of visits and laughter, endless amounts of laughter.

As time wears on we're all settling into being a family. We've learned how to make it work and we no longer just survive a family weekend (not that it was ever that bad, but I think if each of us were being honest, we'd all admit there are times we were all just biding time) but we thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thank you so much to everyone who came (and to my mom for making a stellar pumpkin cheesecake dessert), we love you all and can't wait to do it again!

Anyone for pizza and a movie?

2010-10-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

When Corey was gone, the girls and I had to find a routine. Corey's a fantastic dad and husband and he's a huge part of our day to day life. He really is the center of his girls' world and I kind of like him too.

So, knowing that he wasn't going to be around for awhile, I needed to buckle down and figure these things out. So I did what I'm very best at. I sat down with a pen and paper, and wrote and nice long list. I listed things I needed to get done, things I wanted to get done and miscellaneous (which was Bethany's insistence that we "make someping").

Listing gives me purpose, it gives me direction and checking things off of my list makes me feel as though I'm getting somewhere. It was also something to do with the girls that filled a few minutes, because believe you me, there were minutes that desperately needed filling.

One of the things I put on the list, actually as a last minute addition (I love writing down something I'm going to do soon, because then I can scratch it off quickly) was to have a pizza and movie night with the kids.

When we were little, on Sunday evenings my parents would make nachos and we'd put sleeping bags in our living room and we'd sit and watch The Wonderful World of Disney together as a family. Those memories for me are some of the sweetest. It was time together as a family that was simple. It didn't cost a lot, it wasn't busy or complicated, it was us and it just was.

Since Disney is no longer on, on Sunday evenings (or if it is I'm missing it) and since I can't eat Nachos because you have to make them with corn chips- we decided to compromise. We'd make our homemade pizza, because it rocks and then we'd set up blankets, put on a movie and hang out and be together.

It took a little time, and a little bit of pineapple and cheese snitching but we managed to get 'er done. It was great! The girls were over joyed at the idea of spending time, eating something like pizza in the living room hanging out with me.

Sometimes it's so easy for me to get busy and not spend a ton of undivided time with the girls. I love to play and craft with them, but often we're interrupted, or I need to do something at the same time. This time I purposely hung out, I didn't do dishes, I didn't fold clothes and I didn't check my email. It surprised me to find that I needed it almost more than they did.

We had 2 of those, one each weekend and made a decision. Pizza and movie nights were too cool to keep to ourselves, we needed to make them an official Sunday night event so that Daddy could be included too.

Last weekend Cor joined us for his first pizza and movie night (which was lunch due to a scheduling issue) and the girls were so excited. It took us at least 10 minutes to get them to settle down to start the show because they were both so anxious to show their Daddy how it all "works".

With this weekend being Thanksgiving, I started thinking of all the things I'm thankful for. It's something I've been trying to do on a more regular basis anyways these days. It's amazing how remembering what you have to be grateful for makes the things you tend to grumble about seem less important.

Anyways, of all of the things I'm thankful for - my husband, my beautiful daughters, my family, our work, a God who pretty much rocks and the list goes on, these new memories are pretty high on the list. And I'm really thankful for one night a week that includes cheesy gooey goodness.

So, if you haven't answered the question on 45 other blogs today, what are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Putting it all on the line

2010-10-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

I spent the majority of the summer months complaining about, well, the summer months. You know by now that the heat isn't my friend, the harsh rays do nothing but leave me more freckles spatter and the long days (while nice sometimes) have my children sleeping less than I need to.

From the first hot day of summer to the last I'm tapping my foot waiting for fall to arrive. I watch the leaves, and check the weather forcast online 10 times a day (this may seem excessive, it's not. Come winter I check 45 times a day, first in anticipation of snow, and then with hopes of no snow - I'm a fair weather friend like that) then when it arrives, I dance around my house with joy!

Autumn brings cooler but still beautiful sunny days, crunchy leaves and rains that leave the air feeling fresh and new (said rain also, temporarily washing the smell of cow dung out of our nostrils). We are outside more in the Fall, I know that sounds backwards, but with the lesser temperatures and cloudier days, I feel more inspired to get out and about. And don't even get me started on the ridiculously awesome clothing options that come about in fall - yay for covering arms, legs, butt, belly and feet!

Basically what I'm saying, is I'm pretty much not sad at all to say "Chow" to summer and give Fall a big fat kiss. Almost. You see, there's one thing I love about summer, it's something I've only discovered the past few years but it's something I've grown to love.

What could possibly make this summer hater shed a tear?

The ending of clothes line season. We have a lovely, long clothes line that I adore. Not only do I get to hang up all our clothes, leaving them fresh (unless it is manure spraying day, I found out the hard way that if your laundry is outside clean and fresh, while the farmer next door is spray poop everywhere, your clothes will come back in smelling like said poop, begging to be returned to the washing machine. If they could talk I'm pretty sure they'd say they feel violated) and crisp, but we are reducing our carbon imprint on the planet, and I'm down with that.

I'm not going to get all environmentally on you today, because while we do our best to recycle when we can, turn off lights, hang our clothes on the line (squeeh!) there's much more we could do - I don't make our panties from recycled newspaper, I buy toilet paper not collect leaves and we totally used baby wipes ( I was not washing those wash clothes!). I just love my clothes line, so when the season ends, and we have to start using our dryer again, or I have to hang my clothes on my indoor drying rack, I get a little sad for a moment.

Then I look out the window and see the orange and yellow leaves, look in the mirror and see my full clothed body and check the weather network and see a high of 19 and I smile. I mean seriously, who wouldn't? It's Autumn and it's here!

What do you miss about summer or if you're like me what do you LOVE about Fall/Autumn?

Time Out Rocks!

2010-10-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

Around these parts it feels like some days all I do is say "No", "Don't do that", "Don't hit your sister", "Don't Kick your Sister!", "Put your shoes on already", "Eat your dinner", "Stop Pushing", "No throwing toys", "Get down you're going to break your arm", "Stop! No! Wait! Don't, Don't, Don't - seriously kid - just DON'T!"

Now, we've covered that most of the time I'm a "mean Mom" (I bought my Mom a mug years ago with a poem about the mean mother, if I remember I do a post about it soon), who parents her kids endlessly in hopes of raising well mannered, healthy, happy and intelligent children, but there are moments when I chose to turn a blind eye so that my children know I love them and actually do enjoy things that are fun.

I don't believe that I'm a horrible mother, I also don't think that I'm unnecessarily hard on our girls. We always feel the proof is in the pudding when the kids are put into a situation that requires them to obey and behave and they do famously - while still laughing and smiling.

However, I don't really like this part of my "job" as Momma. I love raising our kids, I love stories and cuddles, and I love hearing them laugh and listening to them sing, but I don't love discipline. I don't love that there are moments when they don't obey and I'm forced to teach them why listening to what I say is important. I don't love that every tom, dick and hairy (which until this moment didn't seem funny, but now that I see it in print....) has an opinion about how you do or don't punish them. Some say you should spank, others think it's horrid, some are timeout fans while others still stand their kid in the corner, and the ones who don't have children at all have the strongest and most unappreciated opinion of them all. If you do not have a child, you have no idea how this goes. If you helped raise your siblings, it's not the same, your opinion is still unwanted and inexperienced - just ask Corey about the difference between being the brother and being the dad. I understand that you (person with the unwanted opinion) mean well, but seriously Dude, shut it.

Mostly, what I dislike is that there is no one sure fire way to punish a child effectively. Each situation, child and offence responds to different methods of reprimand. I've learned this the hard way.

You see, Audrey's coming into her own. She's reaching that point in her development when challenging me is awesome! Bethany reached that stage, in fact I think most kids do, so I figured I'd be able to handle this no problem. Surprise, surprise, I was wrong.

With Beth if I had to punish her, usually a time out did the trick. She'd sob her eyes out while looking at me with contempt, totally and completely wounded by the fact that I was unhappy with her. Just the threat of a timeout had her listening most times and it was rare that anything further was warranted.

Audrey, however thinks time out ROCKS! I'm not kidding, the other day my little instigator (if this were hockey she'd totally have a 20 minute game misconduct by now, such a bruiser she is. Not that B doesn't start the other half of things but that's another day, sibling fights require another day) decided that while Beth is laying on the floor, minding her own business she's going to pick up a book and launch it at her head. Audrey didn't just toss it, drop it, she wound up and as I'm standing to grab the book and say no, throws it with the force of a major league baseball player - the when it nails her sister in the shins (I said she had the force, not the aim) she grinned. I could have screamed!

Instead, I grab her arm, scold her and tell her she needs to sit in timeout for hurting her sister. That was mean. I plunk her down and as I walk away I see this little face...

(PS. Time out never usually has a toy, soother or anything else that can be comfort or weapon...)

Then she's completely calm and says nothing. I think maybe it's sinking in, not all kids cry when they're upset. So I leave her there for her 2 minutes and when I go back I see this face...

I ask her to stand up, talk to her about what she did, made her go say sorry to Bethany and thought ok, battle won. Then she does something that surprised me and made me have to fight laughter. She hung her head and said "Mo - Out!" and marched back over to time out and sat down. She enjoyed herself!

Apparently if you're 21 months old and your big sister gets timeout, it's cool to have them too. And as cute as she is it left me with this impending sense of doom, now what?

We manage, I believe whole heartedly that the challenges AJ is going to bring to this family will be night and day different and together these little girls will leave me feeling baffled and frustrated. I just say it's a really good thing that in spite of those days and those moments, that I love this job, I love this life and I love these girls! I mean, really? Who would love kids this cute?

My new favourite

2010-09-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

In case you've all noticed, the past few weeks have seen less posts than normal. This mostly stems from exhaustion and distraction. Corey was away for work for 16 days and I was playing single parent, which while difficult at times was not as hard as I expected it to be. It did however, greatly diminish the amount of time I had to do any blogging. Well, maybe that's not quite true, maybe it's more like when I did have time my brain felt frozen and I needed to zone out for awhile.

Anyways, it was a much needed break. Both to take some time to think about the things I'd like to say, and also to take some time with my girls. Sometimes, when you get busy and distracted it gets easy to put housework and work and other things ahead of sitting down and playing with your kids. Taking the time to do that did me as much good as it did them and I'm glad. In case you didn't know, they're pretty awesome little people.

There's more to come in the following weeks. Stories, pictures, links, the pages will be full, but for now, it's the weekend and I'm going to say enjoy it! And I'll leave you with my newest favourite picture of my little, big girl!

It's this thing called "Perfection" and it's going around

2010-09-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

In my life I have read a lot of literature. I have read Shakespeare (some by choice, some not so much), I have read biology books, Archie Comics, Cosmopolitan Magazine (ps. Corey says thankyouverymuch for that one article I read in 2005, it was gold), and Teen Beat. I read daily blogs, mommy information pamphlets, romance novels and my Bible. I am someone who considers themselves to be knowledge starved, always in search of new and useful information, and one who soaks up every ounce. If in fact you were to take a step back and look at my life, you'd see that at least 50% of my waking hours have been spent with my nose buried in a book, reading this thing or that. Basically it's one of my major food groups, the one that feeds the ol' brain cells - whatever's left of them.

And of all of the things I have read in my life, very few have left the impact on me that what I am about to share with you today has. I'm saying that with all sincerity and seriousness, only a handful of things that I have read in my whole 20 something years on this planet (you do not need to know the something) have left this kind of mark on both my heart and my mind. And I'd say that says something about the importance of a written word, when a person compares it to the other influential works of literature in her life and it comes up on the list not far from the Word of God - pretty heavy stuff ...if you ask me.

I'm talking about a post called "The disease called "Perfection"", written by Single Dad Laughing. It's a real and serious look at what's happening to the society we live in based on our daily search for the "Perfect Life". He says so clearly what I've been dying to put into words for so very long. He puts so plainly what we all chose to ignore because it would be easier to ignore the truth, the imperfection, the faults, rather than let them smack us in the face so we can knock them out of the ball park.

I'm not going to paraphrase or spend an hour giving you an in depth look at what I think about what he has to say. At least, not tonight, but I am going to ask you to go read it. Please take the time, please read it from the first word to the last and please come back and tell me what you think.

We're living in a broken world, one that's full of more corruptness than I can even fathom, we're living in a society that treats alcoholism, drug addiction, childhood obesity, infidelity, self mutilation and eating disorders as common, household annoyances - like nothing more than a leaky faucet or a backed up toilet. Famous people turn up dead of one cause or another, images aren't what they seem and "reality TV" is anything but, and still someone, somewhere tells us we're not good enough. This world may be broken, on it's last legs but with every breath that it labours to breathe it whispers, "You're Fat!" "You're Ugly" "You don't have a job because nobody can stand to be around you" "Why didn't your parents just name you Stupid, would have saved us all time" "Your worthless, no one, will ever love you"

But the top just blew off of that game, someone threw the cards on the table and called a spade, a spade. And if I do say so myself, it's about damn time.

At the end of the article, he asks us to share how perfect we aren't, because you never know who needed to hear that. Who's looked at you, as someone you're not and who desperately needs to know they're not alone. And I love that, what a great way to make us all feel as worthy as we truly are. So, here it is, here's how perfect I'm not

- Sometimes I turn the TV on for the kids, just because I can't handle one more question, problem, game, because I feel like my brain is about to explode and I need a break

- I have never, not once, looked in the mirror and been completely satisfied with myself.

- While I have carried and birthed two children, my boobs haven't grown at all. They are still as small as they were in the 7th grade and it makes me feel like less of a woman. I spend countless hours trying to find the right bra to make them appear even slightly bigger, and each time I joke about their size, I'm silently crying inside.
- That awkward, chubby girl from high school, who none of the boys ever noticed and who believe with all her heart that she would grow up to an old, lonely spinster, because nobody would ever think her worthy of love, still lives inside of me and haunts my days.

- To second that, each morning I wake up and almost have to pinch myself because someone did marry me, and for the life of me I can't understand why

- I avoid going back to Hope for fear of running into the people in high school who made me feel so small. Because while on the outside I'm a confident, happy woman on the inside I still feel their rejection.

- My children make me angry enough sometimes that I have to walk away. Not because I believe I could physically hurt them, I know I couldn't but because I'm afraid it would come out it words - ones that I'd never be able to take back. And that anger scares me, because I know in my hands and in my words is the potential for life altering damage.

- I worry about everything, my children's safety, my husband's self esteem, my house, my hair, the food I feed the kids, the bank balance, the list goes on. I worry more than I don't, and try as I might, pray as I do, read as much as I can, I can't make it stop, it is, what I do.

This post made me take a hard look at my life, at the moments of perfection that I strive for and the things I need to change before they become the ones that hurt my children, or the ones that damage my marriage. It also felt like it gave me a voice a chance to share with someone else, the reality of being real. To give power too the imperfect (hey, yo that's me!) and rain buckets of acid on the disease I have called "Perfection"

On my sidebar, you'll see this

it's a badge, a permalink to the post because I want to share this message. I believe, that it holds the potential to change lives, to get people talking and to force us to be real. You never know when getting real, can change a day, touch a soul or save a life.

So, please go take a look, read his article, each word and then come back and share with me, someone who cares about you, and who wants and needs to know - how perfect aren't you.

Please pass the toilet paper

2010-09-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Because it's funny....

Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy your weekends.

I forget

2010-09-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

Somedays it feels like I have so very much to say and not a single brain cell left in which to form the words to
say it. I will begin multiple conversations throughout my day, with my Mom, my girls, Corey and never finish them, not because I've been interrupted, or because there is a crisis (although there are many conversations left hanging for these exact reasons) but more because what I was saying completely vanished from my brain. It's kinda like the missing sock, you know, one minutes you're putting 2 socks into the washing machine, the next you're pulling one out of the dryer - the other sock, never to be seen again.

This didn't always happen to me, in fact I used to pride myself on my uncanny ability to remember any and everything! (In fact, I used to have the item numbers of random items in most of my stores memorized. Useful? Not often, Dorky? Absolutely.) My Mom used to have conversation farts, where it all went out the window and I used to roll my eyes - pft Old people.

The thing is, one of two things has happened. Either I've become old (which would explain why random teenagers keep calling me Ma'am. And no, I'm never going to let that go) or my Mom had a valid point when she said it was my fault, at least partially my fault. You see, she used to say she gave birth to half her brain cells when she had me, and then half of what was left when she had my brother, so all she was left with was a quarter and that entitled her to forget things once in awhile. I said that was a bunch of garbage and to try a new one, but now, I wonder....

I've given birth a few times now, and it seems miraculously that my ability to remember things is disipating at a rapid rate. Maybe it's the whole brain cell thing or maybe, the ones that are left are overloaded with kid stuff. You know the 600 things I have to remember each time we head out the door and the reason I don't carry a purse but Mary Poppins' magic bag.

The other theory is that it's because the sheer volume of these two children is mind numbing at times. It's not all crying and shreiking (although there is definately times where that is the exact cause of the sound) these days the girls are learning to play together and that involves laughing and giggling, shouting for each other and hide and seek - which by the way is where Bethany puts her face against the wall and counts, while sneaking a peak through her armpit and Audrey standing there in a braced position for the moment B turns around to find her. It's sort of more like a kid waiting anxiously for a Jack in the Box to pop than two kids hiding. It's intensly frustrating and undeniably cute, but over all really loud!

What ever the cause, the cure seems impossible to find. I read, they say that exercises the brain, my brain's got a wicked six pack but it's memory bank is still flabby. I tell the girls to "Turn down the volume", and that lasts 2.5 seconds and I do what every self respecting woman does. I write lists in and on everything, I have a grocery book with lists and notes, my pants pockets are full of scrap paper lists and snotty tissue (because what mother doesn't carry snotty tissue), I don't write on my hands because I might forget where to find my list, I use a day planner and fill the calendar on my Crackberry to it's fullest, (not to mention my kitchen calendar), then I don't go anywhere without it.

And still I forget! So today, I shout out to all my fellow Mommies, I need help. Do you remember things? Does your brain feel like the contents of a sick kids diaper or are you holding it all together? What's your trick, how do you manage to remember it all and keep it all together?

"G"25

2010-09-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

There's a man in my life I have great admiration for. He's not this man or this man, he's a man, who I haven't always been kind to, who has caused me grief from time to time and who's played a key role in my life. We've shared memories and a few "moments", heck we even share genetics.

Had you not guessed it by now, I'm talking about my brother. You know, that guy I mention from time to time who's a few years younger than I. I'd tell you his name but then I'd have to kill you, well, not really but he's got this thing with his privacy and not wanting is information on the internet. And since I'm too old to be antagonistic to him, I'll respect his wishes. (Sometimes I even think he might have the right idea. I seriously wonder, how much safer would I be if I didn't blog and wasn't a member of Facebook? As much as I feel I'm in control, am I really?...another day)

However, his 25th birthday is today and I couldn't, I just couldn't let this day go by with out a post. So, for the purpose of this post well call him "G" (this has no significance other than the fact that it's not his name and every time I think about referring to him as "Little G" it makes me giggle. That and because if I tried doing what I did when we were young adolescents and call him Squirt he may never talk to me again.).

To top that off, I'm a very visual person. I love photos and pictures because they hold countless memories and make a reader feel connected to the person in question. The problem with that is he wants privacy, I can't post photos of us as kids, it might give it away (or expose some of my less than desirable style choices throughout the years). So, I did what any good sister would do...

Meet "Little G"

I know this was risky, seeing as to how this is a very accurate depiction of him, but I've decided to chance it, for your sake of course. Also, I'll have you know this took me the better part of an hour, which is why I am not in graphic design.

Anyways, the years since I've moved away from home have seen the relationship between "G" and I grow distant. Having jobs, getting married, having children and life have all got in the way. It's not something that's unusual for siblings, especially those of the opposite sex, but it is something that from time to time has made me sad - I miss my brother.

This past year though, has given us more opportunities to see each other. Our fantastic weekend in Sooke was the real beginning for us to get to know each other again, and that's really what it's like, starting over. More than that even, it's been the chance to not only watch him grow relationships with Bethany and Audrey but also for me to see who he's become.

I think as we all grow up, especially those of us who are the oldest in the sibling chain of command, we set out expectations of who our siblings are going to be. Not that we think endlessly about the careers they will choose or the lives they will lead, but more we think about who they'll be in general and the role they will play in our lives. I'm not sure if it was a conscious thought process for me, but as adulthood approached for both of us I quickly realized it wasn't going to be what I thought.

I envisioned us being close, I thought that age and separate bathrooms would see us growing closer together, bridging the gap in our relationship that sibling rivalry had created and becoming more than blood relatives but friends. It didn't quite go like that, we didn't fight so much any more but we hardly talked. Not because of anger or a problem but because we'd become two different people, living different lives.

Somewhere in my mind, over this time I've created the person I believed "G" to be. I had made up my mind that while I knew he was old enough to live on his own, buy a vehicle and kiss a girl (to which I still say BLECH! Even when it is a nice girl that we like, Blech! Hi "GF" (again privacy thing but I figure ya'll can figure out girlfriend = GF), he was still a young man, a teenager inside. Someone who I was smarter than, who couldn't possibly possess the life skills that I did and someone that still needed his big sister to watch over him - even if I couldn't.

What I've come to discover is something quite the opposite. The person I sat across the living room with the other day didn't posses any of the qualities a teenager would, somewhere between 19 and this unbelievable 25 years old "G" has managed to not only mature into a man but a smart at that. What's more, I had nothing to do with it.

I know, right! I had nothing to do with it. I haven't been around for 6ish years and look what's happened. Maybe that says something, about God's power and wisdom (not about me, yo).

"G" has become someone I'm so proud of, not just the whole, "He's my brother and it's heavy" thing, but because of the man he's choosing to be. As I spend more time talking with him I'm finding that he's smart, about things I'm not. He understands worlds in a way that I couldn't possibly (I'd like to think I'm still a little sheltered) and he's brave. I know that sounds kind of like he's not afraid to pick up a sword and fight a dragon, and while I think he'd probably get a kick out of that, it isn't what I mean. He's not afraid to try anything, or if he is he's stellar at keeping it hidden, he'll take on challenges that make me cringe, he'll eat just about anything if the price is right (or the dare is big enough) and he has no problem putting on what I deem a flimsy mask and let dudes shoot paintballs at him. (I hear that it's ok because you get to shoot people back, but anything that causes welts that also result in nasty bruises is unappealing to me) He accepts people who the world turns away and loves those who sometimes are outcasts. I'm ashamed to say that quite often he gives people, the ones that I'd automatically write off based on reputation or appearance a chance, and some how manages to find the gold that's in them. It's one of those things I'd say is one of his true gifts.

One of his other gifts? He's a really good uncle, a great one even. The first time "G" met Bethany he was squeamish. I handed her over to him and the look on his face pretty much said, "If this kid pukes on me I'm gonna toss her and run", then he looked in her face. I have a picture of that moment, it's one of my favourites. Then Audrey came along, he'd had time to get to know Bethany and had started to see glimpses of what his relationship with her could be but still it was light years away. The first time he met AJ was something very similar to Bethany, this time however he refused to hold her. It was the chink in his armour, he was afraid he'd hurt her. Someone took her and plunked her in his arms leaving him no choice and again, the "fear of poo" appear, then he looked at her. I have that moment in picture form too, it's my next favourite. The girls are far away from those teeny infants now and the relationship he has with them has grown just as much. From the very first moment "G" told Bethany that he'd take her to her first day of school, it's a promise she talks of every once in awhile and one that I know Audrey will look forward to, too. These past few months, Bethany's become one of his "girls", and while Audrey's still a little skittish she too is coming around to Uncle "G". They light up when he comes in a room, they chatter about him when he leaves and as far as they are concerned he's one of the coolest people they know. Next to Papa that is.

The cool thing is, I think in his eyes, they might just be the coolest little people he knows. And if they aren't he's gonna hear about it from his still older sister. He's not completely without his faults now, he still sucks at phoning me back and when he does getting more than one word answers is like a miracle, but I deal with it. At least I'm getting to see him once in awhile, now. That and today's his birthday so I'll keep the airing of dirty laundry to a minimum.

Today, this guy, this man that I love so much turns 25. He's 1/4 of a century and it kind of blows my mind. Not in the same way that watching our girls grow up has, but more in a way that feels surreal. How did we get here? My first memory is the day he came home from the hospital, sitting in the middle of the night, in the shadow of the stairs watching someone rock him to sleep, I knew then I'd always love and protect him. But how is in that 25 years have passed since that moment?

The years went fast and felt slow, the fights were monumental (dude hit me in the back with a pot - I may have deserved it but I'll never let him live it down), the laughter erased most of them and the memories, today, overwhelm.

Happy Birthday "G"! I am truly proud of the man you've become, of the integrity that you show and the Uncle you are to my girls. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I believe God has great things planned for you, truly great and magnanimous things, and I know you're well on your way to finding them. I love you as much now as I did that very first moment, and respect you twice as much. I hope with all my heart you enjoy your day!

Lessons I've learned from Kate Gosselin

2010-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

1. When taking little kids to the washroom, using an automatic toilet, hang a piece of toilet paper over the sensor until they are finished. This way, the toilet won't randomly flush while their teeny, tiny tushies are squirming all over it and they won't be scared out of their wits and fall in. (The latter part of this I learned the hard way)

2. Not all husbands are as fantastic as the one I have. Some love their kids but don't know how to love their life and I should count my blessings. And I do.

3. Divorce sucks, people get hurt, with or without cameras. But cameras make it waaaaay harder.

4. Not everybody can dance, but everyone can try. Some should just stick to doing it in the living room. With the curtains closed. When everyone is asleep.

5. Dressing your same sex children the same is absolutely adorable, even if it is cliche.

6. Having chickens, even when you have a sweet looking coupe and 8 munchkins to help, is gross. I don't know if she thinks this but every time I see that episode with the chickens I gag.

7. Grocery shopping for my little family of 4 is nothing in comparison to shopping for 9! I think I should stop complaining.

8. No matter what you do, someone is always going to think you're doing it wrong. Trying to please everyone will only drive you mental and they only way to actually get it right, is love your kids, follow your gut and fly by the seat of your pants.

There are so many who don't love Kate, and even more who stand in judgement over her. I just can't, I started out with that in mind but as time has worn on my heart has softened. She's one heck of a Mom, she's a woman who does whatever she can to love and support her children. And while I'm sure there is a measure that enjoys being on TV I believe her when she says that she continues to do the publicity thing because it's how she can provide for her children. I mean, what other option does she have that allows her to be there for her kids too? We don't judge Julia Roberts or Michael Douglas for going to work while leaving kids at home, but because Kate includes hers in what she does that must make her wrong. But I take our girls to work with me each day, so where then does that leave me...

Anyways this didn't start out to be a I ♥ Kate post, I just wanted to share some useful tips I've learned. But keep in mind, the next time you see her on the cover of a magazine, things aren't always as they seem.

We like to think of it as building their immune systems....

2010-09-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Candy and sweets aren't something that are found in our house on a regular basis. Well, let me re-phrase that, candy and sweets for the girls and I aren't found in our house on a regular basis, Corey is another story :)

However, we do believe in treats once in awhile, because hey what's childhood without a treat or two. Healthy eating comes with sweet rewards. And as such, Bethany being the oldest has had her fair share. Off all the newer sweets that she's had "lollisticks" (suckers) are her favourites. They are something that are quite rare around here, and when she does get one she's enthralled. Not only do they taste good and come on a stick but they change the color of your tongue!

Letting her have one was something that was difficult for me. I worry, about a lot of things, but about the choking factor on these candies on a stick. But we feel she's gotten old enough to have one if she's sitting down and being supervised. It's one of the perks of being the older sister, the crap shoot for Audrey is that she isn't allowed to have them.

Aside from her penchant for choking on random things, she still doesn't understand the consequences to sticking one too far down your throat. So, that means she needs to wait to be allowed to have one. And while it may seem unfair to some, I believe that there are some things that an older child can have that a younger one can't. Audrey will get those things when she's older, but for now, she has to wait.

Or does she?

The other day, after lunch I decided Bethany could have a "lollistick" she'd been good and it was burning a hole in my cupboard. So I pulled it out for her, explained to a little upset Audrey that while she couldn't have the same as B I had a treat for her and settled them on the kitchen floor while I did dishes. After seeing the few gummy bears in her bowl, AJ quit crying and everything seemed fine.

Until I turned around and found this...

Bethany decided to do what we are always asking her to, and share.

I thought about taking it away and scolding them, but the damage had already been done. I also knew it was going to seriously damage my "Mean Mom" reputation (that's a story for another day) but hey, a kid's gotta have fun and they WERE sharing.

Anyways I went back to doing dishes, keeping an eye out. The next time I turned around I found this...

"Audrey, what are you doing?"

"Think about it Mom..."

"Is it good?" Mmmmm

One for me and

One for you

Ok, let me see your tongues!

Here, it looked like this...

Lollistick from Ashley Stone on Vimeo.

It's a hair affair

2010-09-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite things about having girls (ok so the list is 6 miles long) is the fact that I can let them have beautiful long hair. I love having my hair long, playing with it, straightening it, begging whatever is left of my curls after two pregnancies to appear and so on. So when I found out I would have not 1 but 2 girls, visions of ponytails and french braids danced through my head.

Now it's taken a long time to get to a place where either of those two things were a possibility for either of our girls. I went back and tried to find the post of the first time I did a ponytail or the like in Bethany's hair but couldn't find it. She was almost 2 before I could even squeak out two teeny, tiny pig tails at the back amidst her mullet. Audrey was much younger when I was able to "do" her hair but with each millimeter it grows I become increasingly excited about the newest do possibility.

This past few weeks has seen a few newbies in this house and I'm so excited. Audrey has earned her very first ponytail and as you can see above, Bethany is into french braids!!!!

They're both so good about getting their hair done, and although Audrey really can't handle sitting still for more than 30 seconds we manage ok. Bethany is my trooper, she sat still for 15 minutes this morning while I figured out how to do an inside out braid for her.

After all the fuss and muss and half a can of hairspray, all I can say is - little girls ROCK!

Why teachers drink

2010-09-09T22:42:00.000-07:00

A good friend of my Mom's sent this e-mail the other day that had the mood in our office lightening considerably. Most often she ignores forwarded e-mails but this one she just happened to open, and I'm glad.

Now, I'm going to apologize because the full grandeur of this email is going to be lost in the fact that the email contains this information in the form of scanned copies of the kids' answers. I however, am technologically challenged and can't get them to copy and paste here. Since the hilarity of these is still relevant I'm going to be self sacrificing and spend the whole 15 minutes to transcribe them here, for you, so that you too can laugh until you ~~let a squeaker out that is actually a stink bomb~~ cry.

You're welcome.

So, without further adieu, here is why teacher's drink

Q: Explain why phosphorus trichloride (PCl3) is polar?
A: Because God made it that way

Q: (Photo of a lady - Tracy, with a bubble containing a complicated math equation and answer) Explain why Tracy is wrong
A: She's a woman

Q: Hard Water vs Soft Water worksheet: Briefly explain what hard water is.
A: Ice

Q: What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?
A: He is a noted figure in history because he invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles

Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
A: Unusual Names

Q: Name on of the early Romans' greatest achievements
A: Learning to speak Latin

Q: Name one measure which can be put into place to avoid river flooding in times of extensive rainfall (eg. in Mississippi)
A: Flooding in areas such as the Mississippi may be avoided by placing a number of big dames into the river

Q: Name 6 animals which live specifically in the Arctic
A: Two Polar Bears, ~~Three~~ Four Seals

Q: How does Romeo's character develop throughout the play?
A: It doesn't, it's just self, self, self all the way through

Q: Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.
A: Mrs. Orpheus

Q: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom

Q: What happens to a boy at puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery

Q: What is the meaning of 'varicose'?
A: Close by

Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
A: Mariah Carey

Q: What is a fibula?
A: A little lie

Q: Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand alone computer system?
A: It doesn't come with a chair

Q: What is a vibration?
A: There are good vibrations and bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960's

Q: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
A: Malaria

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. It's a toss on my favourites between Joanna's stand alone system and a boy and puberty. Oh and you can't forget putting bid dames into the river!

What's yours? Better yet, do you have one to share that's not included? Happy Weekend, let me know if you're laughing with me or at me.

Quit Blowing Smoke

2010-09-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

The other night while trying to avoid watching this show, a commercial came on that caught my attention. Now, we've talked about my love of the Old Spice Commercials (and the one where the lady bowls into the wall, but I still can't find a clip), but aside from those few, I usually mute the commercials and use the 2 minute break to blab Corey's ear off.

However, this commercial also caught my attention

(Sorry it's so big, I can't figure out how to shrink it)

Talk about effective. I was so captivated because smoking is another one of my soapbox issues. In fact, it's another of the things that baffles me. (That list seems to be getting longer....)

I've never been a smoker, I've never tried smoking and short of a guy I dated who smoked, I've always done my best to avoid, said smoke. It's yucky, it smells bad and it contributes greatly to the deterioration of both your body and your quality of life. Oh, and did I mention is does serious damage to one's bank account.

Now, if you started smoking some 50 years ago, I can at least say I semi understand the starting part (less the yucky smell and bank account attack) because we didn't know what we do now about what cigarettes are doing to our bodies. What I still don't understand is why continue? Why perpetuate a habit that's only going to put you in your grave sooner.

No, being a smoker is the causes of every smoker's death (got that one?) some die of other causes. But a great number have either suffered some of the smoking consequences up until that point of being not alive. It feels to me like standing in the center of the Autobahn , saying "Well, not everyone who is on the street gets hit and killed. Sooooo, I'll just hang out here and take my chances" We'd all agree that guy's an idiot, but as you call 9-1-1, with a smoke hanging from your lips, tell me what's the difference?

And if all of that doesn't make you want to toss your pack and get a grip, what about what your habit does to those around you? We know now that second hand smoke - kills! It causes those around you to suffer the same effect of cigarette smoking that you do, except they're not the ones with the flaming piece of tar in their mouths. Do you really want to be responsible for their quality of life being decreased? Do you want their death on your shoulders? Sure, talking death is extreme but it's also reality, in the whole big picture, a grave reality.

Then there are the children. Yes, I said the kids. No you may not blow it in their face or smoke in your car. But newsflash - if you're walking down the sidewalk, with your babe in the stroller, they're still breathing some of your toxins. Think about it.

I understand that we all make bad choices (trust me when I say, I'm a very solid member of BCA - Bad Choices Anonymous) but most bad choices can be at the very least repaired with a good choice. I also know and understand the addiction factor. I spent some time post high school taking some University courses that covered the portions of the body set to depend on the nicotine. Heck, one day I'll even tell you about what happened to my body with the narcotics they had me on when I was sick back before Bethany was born.

I also know that there are options and help to beat the habit. Many who start, also stop. It's one of those sheer determination things, the making up of your mind and the committing to face the with drawls, the longing and whatever else you feel as you let go of something that's become such a huge part of your life.

Still not convinced? Let's try one more thing....

Let's flash forward a little ways, say to the end of your life. You've lived a good life, at 35 years old you've kissed a few, loved a few, you saw the Vancouver Canucks almost with the Stanley Cup a few times, you graduated high school and you even finished University. So, you didn't really get past being an intern at your dream firm, but at least you were in the door and security wasn't chasing to get you out. Sure, you wanted to see the whole of this beautiful country we live in but, at least you got as far as Saskatchewan. Ya, you wanted kids but hey, at least since you decided to wait a little longer you won't be leaving any behind. Ok, so it sort of sucks that the chance you had to play pro-ball went down the crapper when you couldn't get the air to run the bases, but you probably won't have gone that far anyways, right? Right?

Now, what's left of you. A coughing, phlegmy mess, on your death bed, facing the end of a life barely begun and what's hanging from your lips but a smoke. It's the end, what does it matter now? That's the same thing you said 10 years ago, when the doctor warned you this was coming. "I've smoked since I was 14, what does it matter now?" It mattered, you see that now. If you'd have stopped then, you'd have stood a chance. You could have salvaged what was left of life and enjoyed many more years. But instead, you lay there, bank account drained from the cost of both medicine and smokes, letting go of a life not lived and the family that will never be.

You wouldn't walk away from a man drowning in a river, saying "It's too late now, he's been out there too long. Even if I reached him, there's nothing I can do" you'd kick of your shoes and run full force towards him, you wouldn't worry about your clothes or your new watch, all you'd be thinking of is saving him, of bringing him in to stand a chance, if not for him but for his family. You'd grab him around the waist and swim to safety, as you blow air into his lungs you'd pray "please God, save him!" And as the paramedics drove away, someone might slap you on the should and say "Job well done, son! You saved his life...thank you!" So, throw yourself a life line, buy the gum, quit cold turkey, see your doctor but quit now. Add saving a life, your life to your list of greatest accomplishments and take a breath of fresh air.

You can do this, I know you can. And when you do let me know, because you can be sure I'll say "Job Well done! You saved a life today... thank you!"

Check out the Canadian Lung Association for help quitting! Or Shard O'Glass, they've got help there too!

Teeny Tiny Beauty Queens

2010-09-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

This post has been brewing for awhile, a long while actually. The urge to write about it comes and goes, usually as I'm flicking through the channels in search of something useful to watch. I think, "I'm soooo gonna unload about that later..." and later never comes.

But on the heals of this post from last week, I feel like we're there. Before I go there, or here whichever it is, I'm going to warn you in a non-sarcastic, actually serious way that you might not like or agree with what I have to say. As I've said before, my space, my words, my opinions. I am also going to say that while what I'm going to write about is based on very strong emotion and is driven by my very huge opinion on everything. It is not meant to be or to come across as judgement, I'll leave that job to the Big Guy.

What I'm talking about, what's burning my tail feathers is TLC's (notice a trend in my channel affections?) Toddlers and Tiaras. If you've never had the bad fortune of coming across this show I'll re-cap: basically it follows around pageant contestants and their families. It's like the inside scoop on beauty competitions for little itty bitty children. The content is so unbelievably upsetting to me I've never survived a whole episode.

Now, I'm not at all suggesting that these mothers and fathers don't love their children. I will never throw that accusation at any parent, because I don't believe it humanly possible to completely not love a child. If it is, I hope I never meet the person who can say they are void of emotion for their kids.

But the thing is I don't understand how they can parade these sweet little girls around dressed like adults. And not classy adults at that. I have daughters, absolutely, breath takingly beautiful daughters and while I am proud of their appearance, I am far more impressed with the little girls and future women that live within them. I love their natural beauty (with pretend make-up if you're Audrey - I "air" apply blush because she wants to copy), I love their sweet kidlet smiles and the goofy songs they sing. Watching them I believe without a shadow of a doubt they are more beautiful than I could ever try to be - it seeps from their pores.

These little girls on the show, starting at a very, very young age are caked in make-up, their mothers of all people apply whitening strips to their teeth, dressed in mini pageant gowns and forced to parade on stage. Oh, the adults always say "They love it", "They want to do it" and maybe for a few they do. But you can't tell me that a 3 year old came up with the idea to dress herself that way, dance across the stage shaking her yet to develop ta-tas and earn her momma a nice fat pay cheque. I have to say, on that I call bullshit.

I'm sure these little ones love the pretty crowns, but I caught a glimpse of an episode the other night, as the winners we announced and I watched the faces of those little girls. They were impartial to the win, the didn't care that they won, they looked void of emotion and my heart broke. They're guardians in the audience however were thrilled, there's something wrong with that picture.

Children are supposed to play and get dirty, laugh and goof around, have crooked ponytails and stay up late just to sneak an extra story from Mom. And not that these little ones never do that, but how much of their lives is being taken from them in "training", in practice, because, their parents want to live out a dream?

This show, while maybe began in an attempt to show the good side of the pageant life, all it's done for me is left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. We don't even enter our children in "Most Beautiful Baby" etc competitions because again I don't believe children are had to be exploited (again, if that's your choice this isn't judgement, but opinion). I don't want Bethany and Audrey to feel as though Corey and I need to compare them to someone else. There is no comparing two human beings, we weren't created to be the same, but rather unique.

But more than any of that, the part that leaves me unbelievably sad is the future. What does the future look like for these itty bitty queens? How will they ever, develop a healthy self esteem when they know that their mommy is comparing them to someone else? How will they ever feel beautiful in the eyes of those who matter when, they know that someone holds their self esteem in their hands in the shape of a trophy or a rhinestone encrusted tiara?

For me, it all comes down to disgust, sadness and frustration, because I don't really think these mothers and fathers understand what they're doing to their daughters. Maybe not in the moment but for the future moments to come. And I hope that these sweet little girls, find their true beauty beyond the stage and know that they are worth more in they eyes of God than make-up can create, that their self worth soars because of the women they'll become and not the awards on their shelves and that each night, when they're tucked into bed at night some says I love you because you're you, and you are always a winner to me!

It's the good kind of annual*

2010-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I spent an hour writing this post yesterday and it was set to go live this morning. Then the vast and wide Internet decided to chew it up and spit it out, forgetting to including the words. Let's try this again...

First off, we have a winner over at OFS Reviews! Go check it out and see if it's you. And stay tuned, there are more contests and reviews on the horizon.

August always proves to be the busiest month of our summer. It seems that we take awhile to get our summer plans rolling and before we know it, we are trying to cram everything we need and want to get done into one month. It may not sounds efficient or well organized, and it's not, but it's what seems to happen, every year. This year, of course was no different.

Of all the things that we do and plan for August, the highlight by far for all 4 of us is our Annual trip to Sooke, with my parents and brother. My Mom books the condo at the Sooke Harbour and Marina almost a year in advance and as soon as it's booked it's on our calenders, in my day planner and of course on my Crackberry. We then have the better part of a year to save, plan, dream, countdown the sleeps (and I'm not talking about the kids) and anticipate.

Grammy and the girls "reading" cookbooks

It's so beautiful there, with the ocean at our finger tips, the unique and often quirky town of Sooke and Victoria only a stone's throw away. It is also a chance to chill out and relax with some of our favourite people. I know that I work with my Mom and Dad, and we see them on a fairly regular basis, but some days it feels as though I hardly have a relationship with them, particularly my Dad. It seems between the hustle and bustle of two kids in an office setting and the whole needing to be productive for work thing, we hardly talk about more than plywood and windows, building permits and potty breaks (we take about 40 breaks a day, I'm almost tempted to say that's not an exaggeration). And that's just us girls, Corey's work schedule such as it is, means that he almost never sees my parents. Don't even get me started on the fact that my brother is leading his own life and is busy with a wonderful girlfriend (whom we love) and friends (whom we also love), leaving little to no time for a sister and some nieces (whom I know he loves). But put us all together and bonds are formed, memories are made and relationships are once again renewed.

Papa and Grammy's Rosebud and Sweetpea

This year, was excellent. The 4 of us headed out on Thursday night after Corey got off work. Due to the time of day and the length of time it takes to drive to Sooke from the ferries, we decided to stay the night in Richmond. It was that or get up at 4am for the ferry, and I do NOT willingly wake at 4am for anything, not even the prospect of a great holiday. We spent the first half of Friday driving, riding ferries, searching for Starbucks and visiting a HUGE Walmart, I was in awe.

Corey showing off his inner monkey and also a "white guy" (We were walking down by the harbour in Victoria amidst dozens of people, when Corey announces "Hey Look a White guy!" I was totally taken aback and tried to explain to him that was politically incorrect and that there were tons of white people. He said, "No, seriously it's the white guy" Then I saw the statue mime...oh, duh!)

It would take me hours, if not days to regale you with all the tales of our trip. And since, I want you to be as interested as we are/were I'll recap. Corey spent the weekend and then had to return to work for a few days, while the kids and I stayed in Sooke. By the time we all returned (Corey came back for the second weekend) it was 10 days away, and it was nice. We had such a great time, but it was funny, I was ready to come home. Not that I wanted the fun to end, but I like the routine of our house, the kids were missing their toys and it was time to settle back in.

Driving the boat

Our days were spent hanging out and reading, watching the boats and seals in the harbour, going on small adventures in Sooke and to Victoria and just generally enjoying each other. The boys also spent a great deal of their time out fishing and then vac sealing the fish - I spent that time ~~complaining~~ explaining to them that fish stinks, the scales get everywhere and seriously guys, that fish stinks! My Dad and my brother and my Corey-Bear loved it, every second of it, so I only mildly complained and then chose to relocate for an hour while they finished - blech.

You can see the bruise under her nose here, and it was already 3 days old by this point and faded.

Aside from Audrey falling (she tripped over her own feet, landed smack on her face, split her lip and left a really horrible U shaped bruise under her nose that showed up with in 30 seconds of her falling) and smacking up her little face on the first evening, and then both kids landing themselves yucky head colds later in the week it was a great trip.

Story time with Papa

And I think, looking back if I were to pin point my favourite part of the trip I would have to say it's a toss between taking the kids to the Undersea Gardens (Bethany was in love with the Diver and was more than impressed that Daddy and Uncle Scott are secret divers too) and the time spent with my brother. Like I said, I hardly see him and when I do it always feels brief. This past trip gave me a chance to see the man he's become, and contrary to what I may have said when we were teenagers he's grown into a really great, almost 25 year old man. He's someone I not only love because I have to, but because I want to, he's also someone I respect greatly and I'm so glad he's in our lives. More over, I proud of who he's become - also his choice in girlfriend is superior :)

That pretty much sums it up, a great week with a great family and some wonderful memories. Now, the photos are in great abundance and since I'm pretty sure you don't want to spend an hour looking at them I'm going to spread them out over the next few weeks. Just be warned :)

Happy Friday everyone! What was the highlight of your summer?

*Because we all love annual family vacations, annual PAP Smears not so much

Telemarketer Advice

2010-09-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I understand that telemarketers are only doing their job. I can empathize that you need to eat, your family needs a roof over their heads and this may have been your only choice. Heck, I even understand sales and that being persuasive can sometimes mean the difference between getting or losing a sale.

What I don't understand is this: if you struggle with english, either you're still learning the language or your accent is so heavy I'm pretty sure your call center is located in the middle of somewhere across the ocean, why are you doing this job? I can only imagine it's as frustrating for you as it is for me to have to be ask 50 times in 10 minutes "Sorry, what was that?" Maybe you'd be better suited to something else.

Next if you're a class A jerk, or plan to throw an attitude at me, maybe you'd be better off scrubbing toilets with your toothbrush. The wrath of what I can throw is not something I think you want to face.

So here's what happened....

We've been away for 10 days on holidays (I'll update on that soon) and when I got home, I checked out the Caller ID. Yes, yes I check my CID, I need to know who loves me and who doesn't. Anyways, there was a Telus number on there 6 times. Hmmmm, we're Shaw users after THIS event, what the heck would they want. I kinda shrugged it off and waited to see what would happen.

Monday they called back 3 times but there was only ever crackle on the other end. I chalked it up to the brilliant service Telus gives, and hung up the phone. Then yesterday they called 2 times while the kids and I were at work and then once again at 7:30pm while we were trying to get the kids into bed. Here's how the conversation went...

Me: Hello?
Telus Lackie (TL): Looong pause "Hello? Is this the person who is to buy the phone service? I mean is this the uh, Mr or Mrs. Ashley and Corey Stone?"
Me: "Yes, this is Ashley Stone"
TL:" Hello Mrs. Stone, I'm ____________(name I couldn't make out) calling you from Telus (my brain slowly enters energy saving mode) to tell you about a service bundle we're offering with phone, Tv and Internet, I need to know who you get your service with presently since it NOT Telus Just so you know, they are recording this call"
Me: "We use Shaw, and Telus doesn't offer Internet here so I'm really not interested in your bundle. I'll just save you some time and ask you now to please remove me from your call list."
TL: "I understand that ma'am (mental throwing darts at TL - Ma'am!) but this is an excellent package, I know you might be busy now but just listen me and I say to you want the bundle is"
Me: pulling out the annoyed Mommy Voice "thanks but I'm really not interested in the bundle, please remove me from your call list. This is a bad time I need to go and put my kids to bed"
TL: "If you would just STOP TALKING I can read you this script and then I may take you off the phone list. The bundle...."
Me: "I won't stop talking. I told you I'm not interested, you don't even offer internet here so I'm not interested in your bundle. Now since you're recording this call then you can record that I've been polite, I've asked nicely, NOW remove my name from the list and don't call me again. Have a nice day"
"Accidentally" dropped the phone before hanging up.

Dude, it's your job to call and offer me a service, I get that. I even blame Telus for being a bunch of crack pots for asking you to call a person who lives in an area (which you would know since you have my phone number and my address is listed) that their services are not provided. But you don't need to be ignorant. If you would have shut your mumbling trap for 30 seconds and listened you'd have understood and could have moved on to your next victim. Now, all you've done is managed to earn your way onto my top 30 people I hope get hit by bird poo, right next to the spammer who hacked my e-mail and the maker of the Trojan virus that overtook my computer. It's a shitty place to be, trust me.

We have a pretty heavy, be polite to Telemarketers rule around here because of paragraph 1 (I'm too lazy to re-write it), but tonight I broke the rule. When they're not going to listen to reason and patience, I'm pulling out the big guns, loading the barrel and firing a who wad of teenage attitude your way.

What about you? How do you handle Telemarketers? Are you a nice Nancy? Or a Nasty Norman?

Breast Wishes

2010-08-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

I love cookbooks. I thoroughly enjoy flipping through pages, reading recipes, looking at pictures. I love imagining cooking new things for my family (notice I said "imagining" not doing, I'm a horrible procrastinator, and my new things list is longer than my left leg) and that they'd love them. Over all, cookbooks rock.

Normally I borrow them from the library first. That way I can determine if a book is worth the buy. I read it, if I love the whole thing it goes on my list of cookbooks I'd like to own. If I only find one or two good recipes then I write them out for my recipe binder and return the book. This has saved me oodles over the years and has prevented a shelf full of unused books.

The other day however I found a cookbook that touched on not only my love for cooking but also a cause that is near and dear to me. It's the Breast Wishes from Breast Friends 3rd Cookbook. This book is made up of recipes from cancer survivors and their families. It's full of stories and anicdotes and the money goes towards finding a cure for cancer.

Everyone knows someone touched by cancer. If it's not someone in your immediate family, it may be a friend, or the mother of a friend or a co-worker. Cancer is expanding it's reaches and without a cure it's only going to get worse. I know one day cancer will something we only read of in the history books like the Plague, but for now it runs rampant and it's overwhelming.

It touches me, and so, I bit the bullet and bought the book. Good cause all around and maybe I'd get a few good recipes. While I haven't cooked anything yet, it's looking promising. More than a few of the recipes have jumped out at me as things that the kids and Corey will love, Score! And some of the stories and side notes have made me both laugh and cry.

Since today is one of those laugh kind of days, I thought I'd share this one with you. It flat out made me laugh out loud (not LOL - that makes me want to scream!) and I hope it does for you too!

You might not know this, but some non living things are actually male or female.

Freezer bags are male - they hold everthing in, but you can see right through them

Tires are male - They go bald easily and are often over inflated.

Hammers are male - in the last 5000 years, they have hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around

Remote control's are female - (ha! Bet you thought it would be male) It easily gives a man pleausre, he'd be lost without it and while doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

It's like fingernails on a chalkboard, only it's purple

2010-08-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

When it comes to TV, we are a pretty restrictive household. I am very, very cautious about what our girls see, and what they don't. I don't show things that have villans or scary scenes to the kids, I fast forward through things that I know will cause nightmares in Bethany and I keep a close eye on what shows they are watching if the TV is on.

We also don't have the TV on all day. That's not to say there aren't days when I'm ~~being lazy and want to sit and knit while watching a movie with my kids so I don't have to clean up the dishes screaming my name from the kitchen~~ exhausted beyond belief from two little girls not sleeping at night (ps. they have mastered the art of the nighttime, tag team. One will wake, go back to sleep, leaving enough time to get my freezing cold tushie back under the covers, then the next will wake up and so goes the battle). But on a day to day basis, they get a few short kids shows in the morning as I ready us for work, and then that's it. Sometimes when we get home from work, I'll pop a movie in for them to watch as I make dinner, this is mostly to distracted them from standing in the kitchen asking me 40 times over for a snack 15 minutes before dinner is served.

That, is pretty much it. We learned a long time ago, that TV after dinner is counter productive for many reasons. The first being Bethany was getting all sorts of night time dreams that were wakeful. They weren't always scary but they'd work her right up, making it difficult for me to coax her back to sleep. After a quick examination of our habits I concluded the evening TV show she'd get with her Daddy was the cause. We cut it out and voila the worst of the dreams vanished. It's also a good thing for us to have the Boob Tube off after dinner, because quite often that's the only time the kids see Corey and to take that precious hour or two and spend it zoned infront of a flashing box (and when I say zoned it's not my kids who'd zone out....ahem Corey) is an absolute shame.

I totally didn't start this out with the intention of sharing our whole electronic use plan, I get distracted. The thing is, and maybe it's just me, but whenever I start talking about a parenting decision we're making that can be controversial (because I know there are many out there who are anti-TV) I feel the need to jusify myself. As if, I need to prove to everyone that I'm not a horrible parent. N-E WAY....

(aside: This is NOT a judging post. I am not saying we are doing it right any more than I am saying we are doing it wrong. If you chose to allow your children to watch TV for 18 hours a day, forcing them to stay awake for the Crazy Craft lady at night because you believe your exposing them to all types, that's your business. I wouldn't chose it for our girls but, whatever. This is strictly TV from they eyes of one Momma. And how I feel it has it's place, like everything else, in moderation)

The list of shows I absolutely will not let our kids watch is getting longer and longer. In the Night Garden - this is just Teletubbies the remake in my opinion and doesn't promote any intelligent thought from my kids, Toopy and Binoo because they annoy me and I don't like their behaviour, the Playboy channel - because I don't want my girls to grow up to be strippers (and because I don't want to see that....can you imagine what that would do to my self esteem - flush!), you get my drift....

But of all the shows I won't let them watch, or swore before they were born I would never have on my television, one has come off time out. For years, I baby sat a little guy who loved this show, and I learned to loath it. Not because the lessons were bad, in fact they are good, not because the kids weren't polite, in fact they were almost perfect, not because there is a bad guy who provokes nightmares in the grandest of schemes, the only bad involved is the acting. No, I didn't have a solid parenting reason, my reason ran in terms of shear annoyance. The kind of annoyance that makes me want to stick my head in a hole and scream for mercy.

notice I've made this photo as small as possible, in an attempt to make him DISAPPEAR FOREVER

However, my kids have fallen in love. If you haven't guessed it by now I'm talking about Barney. That's right, you heard me, my kids watch Barney (hangs head in shame, pure shame). The thing is they love Barney, and while most often I manage to avoid it all together, there are some times when nothing else is suitableish so the big guy it is. His lessons are still good, his manners still impecable, his voice still annoying, his costume the thing Mommy night terrors are made of. I relent because I love my girls and have every confidence that they will out grow this stage, I leave the room because I don't think it would send the right message throwing laundry at the TV screen in an effort to make him SHUT UP already. (please note, I do not rent Barney DVD's, nor will we own one. I will burn any Barney paraphernalia that should come our way - even if you think you're being funny. This is as far as the B-train goes).

It's one of those things that drives this Momma crazy but for now, since the time spent watching is so small, I relent and hope and pray that one day, my kids too are parents themselves and are subjected to the annoying big purple punching bag for the sake of their children.

What about you? Is there any TV your kids must have? What about ones you just can't handle? I can't be in this alone, do share!

ps. Don't forget the GIVEAWAY over at OFS Reviews. Enter, Enter, ENTER!

The Power of Beauty

2010-08-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

It's no secret I struggle with my self-esteem. I blog about it every now and again, in a moment of weakness when the "fat monsters" are climbing out of my closet and into the back pocket of my jeans. I talk about it to my mom and my husband much more frequently (not specifically in front of our girls, they don't need to know about those things yet. All they need to know is they are perfect and beautiful. Period.). I think of it, however on an hourly basis.

I see women I long to look like on TV, in magazines, walking down the street. I look at my accomplishments and think of them as small because I feel no different than I did before. I compare, I work hard and I loath, and at the end of the day I worry. Because I know that carrying this baggage around for the next 20 years is not only going to harm me, but my marriage and ultimately the way my children see themselves. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I need to get these issues under wraps soon, but what I don't know, is how to do it.

I know I've used these photos before, but when I was talking of beauty I couldn't help but look through the photos of my beauties. These are my two favourites.

Then, on a day that hasn't exactly been going well, my Mom posts this video on her Facebook and it shed a little light on the situation....

We live in an airbrushed, digitally altered, emotionally void era. We can take someone, sit them in a chair, bring in 35 people, allow those 35 to have at 'er for a few hours, smearing her face with lotions and creams, her hair with heat, spray and a wind tunnel, then add lighting and a fantastic photographer. After that a few tweeks here and there with a computer and she's finally "beautiful".

What I don't understand is why she wasn't "beautiful" to start with. And what, does this all accomplish? I mean, if the women (and I'm sure men, but I don't want to talk about the men and their abs) we are looking at and comparing ourselves to are all enhanced, what are we looking at. Why are we judging beauty on an image, not any more real than a cartoon?

And then, this is the part that I struggle the most with - how do we leave our Creator feeling? I mean, He makes all things beautiful - execpt women, they need 35 people to fix what God missed. Ummm, not so much. If I were Him, I'd be a little more than unimpressed.

I think most of us self esteem challenged gals know all this but the believing is hard. If this is what we're going to see, how do we change what we want? I'm all for personal improvement, for health, wellness and confidence under the right circumstances. But how does one keep them straight, how do we stay real?

The faces of beauty look at us each day, in the mirror, in our children, in our friends, in the eyes of our spouses. It's our job, as the women of right now to demand more from life, more from our world and more for our kids, so they can become self loving instead of self loathing.

While, this is not a push for Dove products and they've got no idear I'm writing of them today, I have to say "WAY TO GO DOVE!" Your campaigns are encouraging and they're giving the power back. With knowledge comes power and with power comes change.

Cliche or not, together we can take the power of self - self esteem, self worth and self assuredness and make the world of 'beauty" something great for those to come!

Now, if only I could find that power of self....

All around the Mulberry bush

2010-08-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

♪All around the Mulberry bush the Monkey chased the weasle, the monkey thought it all in fun - POP! goes the weasle.♪

That nursery rhyme drives me nuts, what does it mean "POP! Goes the weasle" did someone knock him off Soprano style, or did the monkey bop him on the head but Pop sounded better or did he POP out of the bush? I'm confused. The way I figure it, most nursery rhymes are morbid and tell a sorrowful tale, so this one probably isn't much better.

However, for all the years we sang and laughed at the song, I'd never seen a Mulberry. When I started selling PartyLite, they have a Mulberry candle and so I felt I was one step closer to discovering the mystery of the Mulberry. It's a nice fragrance and for me personally, one of my best sellers (should you be interested in the fantasticness of the PartyLite candles, you should totally check out the NEW CATALOGUE! But that's not what this is about)

Then, we moved. Our house has a bazillion - like 8, fruit trees smattering the yard. We have mostly apples and while in theory that's wonderful, apples to eat and look pretty, they are in fact a pain in the posterior. We don't spray, we didn't prune and they are turning our yard and driveway into a bee buzzing pile of apple sauce. Which leaves poor Corey to shovel up the debris. We also have a couple of plum trees and a pear tree.

But the cake taker is our Mulberry tree. That's right, a Mulberry tree! When we first looked at the place our landlords took us around showing us the house and the yard, stopping right in front of this big beautiful tree. They pointed to it and explained that it was a Mulberry tree and that as far as they knew one of the only ones in the area. At the time it didn't have any fruit so we had to wait a season to see it.

The following summer as the berries came out we headed to our tree with curiousity and trepidation. If you've ever had a choke cherry you will understand why we hesitate to try something that's "so good" (thanks for that Dad). Anyways, my first taste brought joy not a horribly dry mouth.

The Mulberries are excellent!!! With a taste something similar to what a cross between a cherry and a blackberry would be, they are so pleasant to eat. The tiny little stem at the end doesn't come out very well so you need to hang onto it as you bite your treat, but other than that they are delish. They also have a wicked dying property and after 10 or 50 berries you have red stained fingers and lips. I keep threatening to head out there before a date night with Corey and solidify my lipstick for the evening. If it weren't for the fact that the color is closer to purple than red, I might just do it.

Due to the fact that life is busy and ~~I totally hate and loath the idea of having red stained hands~~ time has just slipped away from me, I haven't actually picked them for more than immediate snacking. I hear they make great jam and I know my girls would love to sit and snack away on them. Who knows, maybe next year. But I don't really mean that, what I really mean is probably not gonna happen ever, unless you want to come do it. Well, do you?

So tell me, What's your favourite Summer fruit?

ps. Don't forget it's T minus 7 days until the GIVEAWAY over at OFS Reviews is closed. Get on over and enter, even if all you do is pass it forward to someone you know. Heck, a year worth of diaper cream would cover you for baby gifts for awhile.

Who's On Second

2010-08-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, right about 5 years back in fact, Corey and I were having a conversation. We'd had many before and we've had many, many since, but this particular conversation stands out in my mind.

Corey was trying to explain something to me, what, I don't remember (Hey! I've had two kids who have robbed me not only of 1/2 my brain cells but also 8 hours of sleep for the past 3.5 years, cut me some slack!) but that's not really important. What matters is that I wasn't understanding. I know, you're amazed, that I, a person that can talk a mile a minute, while washing dishes and listening to Oprah, couldn't possibly understand, but it does happen. Wonders never cease, and I was confused.

It was obvious that Corey was getting frustrated. It was a simple concept, probably something mechanics related (after all this time I have learned to smile, nod and bank his phrases to memory. Then when someone's talking about car stuff, I pull out a phrase like - "It must be the pistons" or "Sounds like an impeller", which allows me to sound really smart or look like a complete idiot. But whatever, I chance it) and no matter how he explained it, or how I'd repeat it back I was missing the point.

As our newly in love air began to get thick I did what I do quite often when conflict could be on the horizon. I make a pass at being funny. The way I see it, if I can't make my co-partner in the conversation department laugh from my sheer wit, they're bound to snicker at how ridiculous the situation is. No matter how you shake it, conflict avoided, situation smoothed.

So, I said to him, mid sentence - "Who's on Second?", completely expecting a solid laugh from Corey. What I hadn't banked on was this blank and now equally confused expression. "What the heck are you talking about? Weren't you listening?"

He missed it. I, being the persistant and some what ~~stubborn~~ driven person that I am tried again - "I don't know's on third" He didn't say anything this time, and really didn't need to. It was evident that Corey had completely missed the boat.

It was then that I discovered, my dear Corey-B had been deprived of one of the funniest skits of all time. Abbott and Costello's "Who's on Second" routine that has brought me great deals of laughter over a great many years. Our conversation then took a turn from there, and I spent the better part of an hour trying to explain how it went.

Since then, I've found it on YouTube and showed him, sharing a laugh as it all came to light for Corey. His life is now better having seen it.

Tonight while talking to my Mom, during a conversation the perfect moment arose, and out came "Who's on second". She laughed and we carried on, but that moment reminded me of that day.

And so, since I'm sure Corey isn't the only poor soul to never have had the priveldge of this clip, I have decided to share it with you. In hopes that you'll not only laugh, but then should you and I ever be talking, and I say something like "Who's on second" you won't head for the yellow pages, in search of a mental facility, but instead will laugh. Or, more appropriately reply, "Who's on FIRST!"

What about you? Any super fantastic, funny clips you want to share? I'd love to have you email them to me so that over a few weeks I can share some of life's funniest moments to those who may have missed them.

I like it, weather you do or not!

2010-08-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

I have something to say, that some of you may not want to hear. Some may be offended, some may be saddened by the announcement, while others may join in with a chorus of "Amen, Sista" 's. I've been wanting to tell you for awhile now, but the timing wasn't right. If I'd said it a month ago, it would have been even harder to swallow. Heck, even my own Mother doesn't like it when I talk of it.

The thing is, I want summer to go away. In fact I am at that "I loath you summer, you need to leave before I feel the need to move to Alaska (if it's actually cooler there), and before I decide to pelt you with ripe, mushy tomatoes next year" point in the season. It's not like it's an unusual thing for me to hate summer, and it's not all of summer I hate, it's just the heat and the clothes that cover not enough, the fact that the weeds in my garden can grow so bloody fast and that I have to sunscreen my kids every 15 seconds to prevent a sunburn, and who can forget the fact that when it's hot outside and my sandal clad toes (which will NEVER have socks with said sandals) hit the sunshine they develop awesome white blisters in a matter of 20 minutes, that I resent.

When summer first arrives, I'm glad it's here -sort of. I mean, I'm glad that the kids can go swimming, that there is summer fruits and veggies available and that the girls look so cute in their shorts and tank tops. But after 24 hours of the super hot weather, I'm annoyed. We don't have air conditioning, and while our house isn't as hot as some, it's still pretty hot. It means that we have all the fans on, and still we don't sleep well. The mosquitos like to rock summer and I figure, any season that comes with the worlds most annoying bugs cannot be all that good.

What I really love is fall. Autumn, the cooler months. In fact, if the whole year could be Fall to Spring, Fall to Spring, I'd be thrilled. The fall brings crisp mornings and warm afternoons. You can still wear a t-shirt and jeans without feeling sweat trickled down the backs of your knees. You can go for a walk, even soak up the rays, and there are a few days in there that it's warm enough to do those summer outside things. But the evenings are cool, everyone sleeps well. The bugs begin to die and dinners are cooked in the oven, leaving you feeling warm and mushy.

Then there is rain, and while sometimes I'll complain about rain, for the most part I love it (unless of course I'm supposed to be going somewhere with the kids and it's pouring down rain then I don't so much love it). The sound of it, the fact that everything gets a drink and fire season becomes a thing of the past. The leaves change colours and our apple trees stop leaving mushy apple sauce all over the driveway. Also, did I mention fall fashions are my FAVOURITE! Jeans and cozy sweaters, dress pants with long sleeve cardigans and camis, not a pair of shorts or swimsuit in sight!

Spring too, really rockes the wheel barrow. I mean, you get new flowers, warm mornings and the days are slightly longer. The rain comes, but so do the new leaves on the trees and the birds come homes.

It's like, somebody was using their head with Spring and Fall and then dropped the ball with Winter and Summer (although I do like about 2 weeks of winter and snow for the kids and over christmas). The extremes are too much for me.

Corey, doesn't so much agree, he's someone who's perpetually cold and the only time of year he's not in need of three layers is summer. He's glad to get a suntan (through sunscreen), feel the heat on his back and enjoy hours outside. My Mom too, loves summer, and I don't blame her. She's got an allergy to the cold and it sucks, in the summer is the only time she can be outside sans worry. I say, when Corey and my mom need the summer fix they should hop a plain for Arizona and spend a week with all the crazies who chose to live in a place that is hot year round. Heck, maybe go straight to the equator.

This year has been particularily tough, the hot spells have felt endless and my patience with them thin. It seems, as it does every year, just when I'm about to lose my cool and pass my breaking point, the weather starts to change. This year is no different, while all of my FB friends are complaining about the cooler days and that the weather appears to be having a mood change, I'm rejoicing. It is for me the sign that I will survive and good weather is on it's way.

And if you're one of those summer lovers, who's managed to make it this far while I've been talking smack about your best friend I want you to hold up. Before you go getting all, "I'm gonna pull out a can o' whoop ass on her summer hatin' soul", WAIT! I listen to you blather on for 3 months out of the year about how you love the heat, how you need the rays, Vitamin D my you know what, blah, blah, blah. Now it's my turn, and I'm gonna love every second of it.

So, what about you (less the whole "can of..." part), what's your favourite season?

PS. Don't forget the Review Blog GIVEAWAY! I know I so forgot the link last time, sorry! Blame it on summer, my brain was fried!

She's a Mover and a Shaker

2010-08-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

The other night, when Cindy and Elanie were sleeping over, I had our girls bunking in together. It's a first for them sharing a room and while I knew we'd be fine I was slightly nervous as to what would come of it! We have some friends who's kids share rooms and it's awesome. We have other friends who's kids share a room and the only thing awesome about it is that when they're crying in the night at least they're in the same room.

This turned out great. They were thrilled to have some special time together and slept very well, which was a first in a long time. Needless to say, Mommy was so relieved.

Each evening since AJ was born she stirs and sometimes cries out at 11pm. I'm not sure what the deal is, most nights she's ok on her own but it's very rare that she skips that 11pm session. That night was no different, except that rather than let her figure it out, I went to check on her. The girls were sleeping so well I couldn't stand the thought of Audrey's crying disturbing Bethany.

Anyways, in I went to check on her and found Bethany like this....

Once Audrey was back in her bed, I hauled down the hallway to grab my camera and snapped a quick photo. I had just finished telling Cindy that B is our mover and shaker at night, and this proved it. (PS, I didn't turn the light on, my flash was just bright enough)

While I don't necessarily think this particular position is the most desirable, I certainly hope that this weekend brings rest and sleep this deep. Not just for me but for all of us. It really blows my mind sometimes how a little extra sleep can make such a huge difference on attitudes, and days.

How about you? What are you hoping for your weekend?

When best friends come a calling

2010-08-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Tuesday brought a day I've been super excited for. My good ol' buddy Cindy and her new baby girl Elanie came for a visit. Cindy, being a much braver woman than I, drove from Kamloops to Chilliwack, with Elanie alone! Gasp!!!

I love this photo of Bethany "watching over" Elanie, and hope as they grow that's exactly what she does.

Now that may not seem too bad, except Elanie is just over 2 months old and that's a very long way to take a baby without a passanger to do the "work" while you drive. But she braved the day and arrived here, tired but happy. I was over joyed. We were able to see Elanie on Canada Day but it was so brief I didn't get a chance to hold and cuddle her. Something that I've only been waiting to do since the day Cindy called to say they were pregnant.

Most of the friends I have now are friends from my adult life. I've met them since I've been potty trained and we've developed adult friendships. That's not so much the case with Cindy. Not that our friendship isn't adult, but it's grown to that. We've grown up together, we played barbies and dressed up our brothers in play clothes, we talked about boys and our periods (what else to 13 year old girls talk about) we drempt of prince charming and the day that we'd each be a mother.

She moved away when we were in middle school, but faxes and snail mail kept our friendship kickin'. Actually that's not totally true, God kept it going. Anyways, somewhere in the back of my mind I always thought we'd one day be living side by side raising our kids together. I know I'm an adult and I know that life doesn't always work that neat and tidy, but I can dream right?

AJ was in love and just wanted to be near her and love her.

All those years ago we talked of having daughter who would be the best of friends like we are. And while, I don't know how their friendship and their bond will grow over time I do know that this visit my girls were IN LOVE with Elanie. Bethany cooed and blew kisses, tried to "play" with her and Audrey was taken. She'd watch her and get close, she wanted to cuddle, and was infatuated. I think though, the sweetest moment came for me when Elanie sneezed. Audrey disappeared and few moments later returned, carrying a tissue for her. It was compassion and sweet and awwww.

Once my kiddos were in bed Cindy and I got to sit down for some good, long over due girl talk. It was medicine to my soul.

Thanks for braving the drive Cindy, it was sooo good to see you! And it won't be so long next time :)

PS. Don't forget the GIVEAWAY at our review blog! Seriously, I can't have a contest run that doesn't have any entries! Go, take a look, enter, you'll love this stuff

Butt...

2010-08-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

With the expanding of Audrey's vocabulary come some very interesting words and phrases. This stage with Bethany was one of my favourites as well as one of the most frustrating. I love seeing and hearing them learn all sorts of new words, hearing how they say difficult words and finally reaching that communication place with them. It drives me and them crazy that sometimes try as they might, I can't at all understand what they want/need. The moments where they ask and ask for something and I can't provide it, leaves us all ready to cry. Lucky for me, this time around Audrey has Bethany as an interpreteur.

I managed to capture one of my favourite new phrases on camera, check it out...

Butt... from Ashley Stone on Vimeo.

What she's trying to say is "Button" but for now it comes out "Butt". I totally roared, then I had to straighten up and gently correct her. She loves the "T" sound and can be heard adding it to many things "Bedt" or "Boot (which is Book with a T sound, not boot the footwear), it's cute and it's funny. The later part of that video makes me giggle because you can see the common theme, while I asked her to say Papa, she'd much rather say it than almost anything else. Much to her mother's frustration and her Papa's joy. She's also finally started calling my mom something - "Bram". It's pretty cute hearing her holler for "Braaaaam! Braaaam! BRAM!" each day when we get to work.

These little videos and these days are a constant reminder than 6 months for now, she's going to be chattering up a storm right alongside her big sister.

What Not To Wear

2010-08-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

This photo has nothing really to do with the post, Bethany asked me to post it. After I took these pictures she asked to do a family picture, I told her Daddy would be home later and she said, "No Mommy, just the girls family". Mostly, she just wanted to use the auto settings on my camera

Ever wish you had Stacy and Clinton hiding in your closet to chose your outfit each day? What about if you could shoot them with the machine from Honey I Shrunk the kids, then put them in your purse (not your pocket, that's just wrong on so many levels) for each trip to the mall? What if they were your best friends, and had Starbuck's with you three times a week and you were always in style, and knew it?

No? You don't wish that? Well, I do. I've watched What Not To Wear for so long, trying to soak up every bit of fashion advice, style wisdom and body confidence that they give to the people on their show. I won't lie, I love the sarcastic humour and loath Stacy's "Shut the Door!", while I enjoy seeing the bizarre clothes that others own (mostly because it makes me feel a little better about what I wear on a daily basis) my favourite part comes near the end of the show. It's the first moment the show's guest see's themselves in for the first time. Each time the look is full of wonder, of joy, of surprise and of confidence. In the matter of a week, a few thousand dollars and a touch of make-up, even the most "self assured" person walking in there exudes a new level of self. The confidence that came in a plaid wrapped package is replaced by a glow accentuated by beautiful clothes and wicked awesome shoes.

While I don't want to be the victim of secret footage, or have to surrender my hair to the hands of the snip happy hair stylists on the show, I sure would love to be nominated! The chance to not only get a whole closet full of new clothes which I didn't have to pay for, but to have someone tell me honestly how I look in them and make sure that I chose things that are flattering, beautiful and fashion forward - makes me drool. I know what I like, I hope that what I wear is acceptable and I do my very best to not look like a 2 dollar hooker or spinster from the 30's, but I worry everyday about how I look in the things I own.

I worry that I look fat, or that I look like I'm too old trying to be too young, or that I'm too young trying to look too old. I worry about a plethora of things, but mostly, top of the list is I worry that I'll embarass my husband or my children. I'd hate to think that my appreancemight make my girls want to hide in a rack of clothes, or that my husband would wish that I wore something else (No Corey, this is not the time to inform me you wished I wore a two piece bathing suit - not happening). Aside from the fact that he complains each time I wear the jeans that are literally 2 sizes two big because I hate clothes shopping and I haven't really replaced them, Corey says he thinks I look good, but I still worry.

Each time I watch the show, I see Stacy and Clinton pass something secretly to their guests. It's not the drug of the week, but here and there guests get a hit of confidence high. They get told by people who know what they're talking about that they look "hot" in something. They get told that they've got great legs by someone who isn't related to them by marriage or by blood and they get made to feel like they're ok, just the way they are. I want me some of that.

I've asked Corey to nominate me, I've begged, I've even threatened to pull out all my maternity clothes and wear them and only them until the camera crews show up - he still says no. He's not a fan of the idea of me having to forfeit my hair because he loves it long, but mostly he's says he's happy with me the way I am, why change what you already like! I'd nominate myself but the fear of looking like a self centered you know what, keeps me from that. So, for now I watch with longing.

The idea of someone teaching me how to dress the body I'm stuck with, showing me how to pick things that are versatile and explain how the heck to wear those incredible accessories I can only look longingly at in the store, is the thing sweet dreams are made of. The idea of being exposed on national TV, laughed at and caught on secret footage in my worst moments, makes me glad right now that Corey won't nominate me (although I won't say no if someone knocks on the door). This dressing one's self should be easier than it is, I mean, if they would just regulate what stores created and sold to be only things that are flattering and fashion forward we'd all have 'er made. But part of the problem is, stores still sell things like pants with stirrups (those, gave me a quick and awkward flashback to my childhood) setting women and men, up for fashion failure. It's a WNTW moment in the making.

So, for now I guess I just get to watch and learn, then do my best with what I can. And hope, that should someone (that'd be you) see me walking down the street in an obvious fashion NO that they'll (still you) do one of two things: 1. Pull me aside, suggest I go home and put on pants that don't sag like that of a teenage boy or 2. snap a photo and send it in. Hey, you never know, it just might work.

How about you? Do you think you're a fashion yes or a fashion not so much?

Apparently bikes are for riding

2010-08-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

This past two weeks we were able to see Corey's Mom and John twice. They were on their way to a holiday on some of the beautiful islands off the BC Coast, and were able to stop over here for two sleep overs. Did I mention, that this holiday consisted of camping and biking? That's right, they left their truck here and rode their tandum bicycle all over and then back here. I don't know how many kms that is but pretty much it's too many for me. Just from the ferries to here was 130 kms and that makes me want to cry. They arrived, happy, exhausted and burnt to a crisp.

Anyways, the girls were thrilled that they were hear, especially Bethany. They soaked up time with Grandma and Grandpa, playing, reading stories and going outside. It's really neat watching their relationships grow, seeing how they'll interact and watching the joy on not only our kids faces but John and Jackie's too.

Because of how much they wanted to do and how many people they needed to see they were only here a short time and the kids were not impressed. After they drove away last week, Bethany kept telling me, "It's not FAAAIIIR that they have to go home. Why can't they stay here?" It's hard to explain to a little girl that not everyone can live in her room and play with her every second of every day, even if they want to.

It was great to see them and we're looking forward to their trip back in October!

ps. Don't forget the GIVEAWAY!!!!

Top 10 Must Have Items for Baby and a GIVEAWAY!

2010-08-13T23:46:00.000-07:00

So, I'm running a GIVEAWAY over at my review blog!!!! If you head over there you can see what it's about. Part of my post is that I'm going to list my Top 10 Must Have Items for baby. I decided, since ya'll are baby lovers I'd share my list here and see what you think.

10. A support system - I know it's not really an item, but it's key to survival. The first few weeks with a new baby are exhausting. They are emotional, draining and new. Having people around you, spouses, family, friends or even your health nurse and doctor mean that you can face those things one step at a time. It means there is someone there to hold your baby while you go pee, there's someone to give you a tip when you don't know what to do or just to listen when you need to cry because everything is overwhelming, you don't know what to do and now your socks don't match!

9. A Good Stroller - After going through 3 strollers in as many years I have to say they are a big investment, as big as a car. Do your homework, think it out and then purchase with care. If you're planning on having more than one child think about doubles, covertable and sport strollers. Even if it seems far off, do you really want to have to purchase another stroller a year or two down the road?

8. Bottles/Formula - Now I'm the first to say I believe breast is, when at all possible your best choice. I'm down with breastfeeding, but we all know it wasn't down with me. I lack in the production department, which meant that my kids needed formula. And yes, I mean needed. If I hadn't had a few bottles and some sample formula here when they each came home, they would have starved - literally, production in this body didn't happen. Even if you plan to nurse, be prepared just in case. You never know when you'll be glad you have it on hand.

7. Snuggly Receiving blankets - There's something so sweet about snuggling your new baby up in a soft, gender specific blankie. We had girls and I loved looking at them bundled up in a sweet pink blanket. They also came in handy when Audrey was spewing formula down my shirt, due to some seriously nasty episodes of spit-up.

6. Tiny Sleepers - Everyone said to us before we brought Bethany home. "Don't bother with newborn stuff, they out grow it too fast. Best to stock up on 3 month clothes, most kids never wear newborn" Due to that, Bethany came home in a sleeper that her feet didn't pass the crotch and the sleeves were folded up 4 times. I also wound up out sleeper shopping a few days after her birth. Have a few on hand. As much as it feels like you've birthed a teenager, these babies are tiny and need sweet tiny sleepers to come home. Also, those sleepers make good reminders that yes they were that small, and no it wasn't just sleep delerium that had you thinking so.

5. Hypo- Allergenic baby soap - I've got nothing against Johnson's baby products, but they didn't really work for us. Our girls had super sensitive skin and the usual baby products dried them out and left them rashy. We loved the Bert's Bee's Baby line! It smelled sooooo good and they were soft and crack free. It was a little more pricey but it was worth every penny.

4. A diary - Have a book to jot down the tiny things. I promise you think you'll remember but you won't. I've kept one beside my chair in the living room for each of our girls since I was pregnant with them. Those little notes and blips have jogged my memory and will one day be something special to share with them.

3. Diaper Cream - There are more than just one reason to have a good diaper cream on hand when it comes to your kidlets. It helps prevent diaper rash, soothe and cure diaper rash and also, good cream helps that meconium poop and subsequent baby poops a little easier to clean off.

2. Camera - This is almost a duh! moment, but I figured I'd better say it. I won't be without our camera, it captures the big stuff and the little and helps with the Mommy brain. Yes, you know Mommy Brain it's where you can only remember things for about 35 seconds before your brain blanks and you have to ask someone what your name is.

1. Love, Patience, Tears and Tissues - New babies bring with them buckets and buckets of "news". The new baby, the new experience, the new memories, the new emotions. Your heart is overwhelmed with the new love and the fact that life doesn't move as fast as it used to, heck neither do you. There will be moments you look at your child and tears fall because you didn't know it possible to be this IN LOVE with anyone. Even if you said you knew it before you had them, you soooo have never felt this. You're also tired, so you'll probably cry at things that don't matter and laugh at things that aren't funny. But at the time wears on you realize that while those things might fade a litte the love just keeps growing, same as your new precious babe.

So there you have it. My Top 10. I could go on for days about everything you need for baby, but those are the ones, when I think back to my girls being tiny that I think off. Time goes to fast, hang on to your hat. Now go over to OFS Reviews, leave me a comment with what one of your Top Items is and see how to win.

And, if you don't want to enter the contest but have a great tidbit to share with the expecting and new mommas that are hear reading, leave me a comment here to share!

A photo shoot, Stone Style

2010-08-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

I walked out into the living room yesterday and found my girls watching a show together. That's not really unusual, as the only time the TV is on here is in the morning before work, they sit together watch a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Handy Manny and then out the door we go. The thing about today was, Audrey was resting her little head on Bethany's shoulder.

Normally this would annoy B and she'd be brushing her off. Today, she had rested her head on Audrey's and they were content. I slipped from the room and then ran for my camera, how could I miss that moment. Of course the fact that when I run I thunder like and elephant had them lifting their heads and the moment was over.

However, since I was standing there, with my camera I decided to try for a photo shoot, it started out good...

And ended up great!

While they were sitting there, smiling away at me for the pictures, Audrey decided to lean back. And since she's only 10lbs lighter than Beth she managed to knock her over, which brought on the laughter. Every photo after that was full of laughing and smiling, sitting and tipping. It was so fun and while it may not have yielded the "perfect" photo, it sure gave us a fantastic moment!

Little Momma

2010-08-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite parts of watching our kids grow up is seeing them become who they're meant to be. I believe that God installs unique software in each of us, it's adjusted and developed by the things and the people in our lives but that basic structure is there long before we take our first breath of air.

When our girls were babies, they were cute and sweet and snuggly, but they didn't really have any kind of personality. They followed suit with a bazillion babies before them - they pooped, the ate, they slept, they wailed, but they really didn't show anything unquie. It begins at 6 months and from there it's a roller coaster ride of funny, sweet and frustrating.

Audrey's really starting to come into her own. She's a funny kid. Her expressions and reactions have me laughing so often, it's difficult to scold. She's compassionate but in a different way than Beth. Where Bethany wants to love and cuddle someone who's sad, AJ will kiss them and then do something silly to make them laugh. When she's in trouble she pulls out this impish grin and the cheeky giggle, knowing I'm gonna have to fight for composure.

The past 2 weeks have seen a HUGE increase in words to her vocabulary and so her response to things you say is becoming more and more co-herent and entertaining. For example...

I walked into the bathroom and found Bethany sitting on the potty doing her business and Audrey standing there watching with a pile of toilet paper at her feet. She had decided to unravel the WHOLE new roll onto the floor. This is something I've never experience, Beth was never interested in the roll like that. Apparently Audrey is.....

Me: "Audrey! Did you do that?!"
Audrey: "Nooooooo......Yah"
Me: "That was a bad idea!* Look at the mess you made!"
AJ: "Ohhhhhhhhhh" shaking her head
Me: "What do you think you should say to Momma?" (This is where she's supposed to say sorry, this is where she KNOWS and usually says sorry)
AJ: "UhOh"
Me: "Who should clean that up?"
AJ: "Mama."

Thanks kid. I didn't of course think to take a picture, and I wish I had a video because the conversation was much funnier in the moment and frustrating.

She's an awesome kid, her personality is gonna make her a different and super little girl to have in this house. It thrills me to no end that our girls are growing into individuals, because I know without a shadow of a doubt there's not going to be any dull moments around here.

And since, this post is kind of randomish and not polished, here's a video to end it all. I love this little clip of her, that song is one of my very favourite. She loves her teddy and her baby more than almost anything ever. She's a natural born little momma, she snuggles and cuddles, scolds and loves. We don't go anywhere without Teddy and a baby in tow, they are her very best of friends. I can just see her, married and 20 something years down the road with half a dozen kids, soaking up every second of motherhood.

Mommy Audrey from Ashley Stone on Vimeo.

It's not all Roses, ya'll

2010-08-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have a garden. Nobody asked me if I wanted a garden, it just so happened that I have one. It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't make me feel soothed, it does not offer me any sort of solitutde. I have decided, it hates me.

Gardening is supposed to be therapeutic. My parents both love gardening for it's soothing features, they love it so much in fact that my Mom has a green house and decided to start her plants from seed in there. My dad has an outdoor vegetable garden that's huge! They also have rose gardens and front gardens, concord grapes and pickling cukes. They happily wittle afternoons away out there pulling and plucking, pruning and picking. This time of year, they have a difficult time convincing me that I wasn't adopoted.

There isn't one thing in particular about gardening that I dislike, I loath pretty much all of it. I HATE having my hands dirty, earth worms (which make Bethany thrilled, they are her buddies and she loves them) make me cringe, I would rather be getting other chores done than watering in the evening while being chewed by mosquitos, I think it's nuts that weeds grow with no attention at all, but for my rose to survive I have to feed it (seriously, some days feeding my kids and getting them to eat is problem enough, let alone talking a flower into finishing it's hotdog), I resent that when the flowers die you have to cut them off and mostly I hate I do all that work and then 3 days later it looks as if I've done nothing.

Wondering why I have a garden? Well, because I like this house, I like our yard to look nice, I don't want the neighbours or landlords to think I'm ok with the overgrown look and because I have to. If we were in a position to hire a gardener, I soooo would!

Now, I do tend my garden, kinda. I put more effort in last year, in a desperate attempt to "learn to like it" like my Mom keeps promising. Problem is, the more I did the less I liked it, and a fact became clear. I am not meant to garden, at all, ever.

But since, having a garden guy here sometime soon isn't going to happen, I get to take on the task. I do it grudingly and only when I have no other choice. I fight and struggle, complain and avoid and then haul my butt and my trusty, dusty garden gloves out there and dig in. I mutter and mumble, throw dirt clumps at bumble bees and threaten earthworms that are slow moving with a blast from the hose if they don't "Get out of my sight NOW!"

I wish I liked it, for myself and also for my girls. They love to be outside in the dirt, they love to help my Mom garden, to see the "fruits of their labour" and to harvest them. But I don't, and I probably won't. Which is ok. I'll let it be something special between my mom and my girls, I'll let them learn from her, enjoy with my dad and when they're bigger I'll pass the gardens on to them. It's one of the few things I can't wait to let my children do, it's right up there with feeding themselves and wiping their own cheeks - both front and back.

My only consolation is the fact that God sends little rewards in the form of beautiful, and sweet pink roses. My most favourite of favourite flowers, and one of the only reasons I don't mix up the fertilizer with weed killer.

What about you? Do you love the gardening or loath it? Would you rather grow a dozen roses or find them waiting in a pretty vase on your table?

New Baby...Wow!

2010-08-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

We had this conversation with Bethany yesterday...

Me: "Finish your lunch guys because we're going shopping."
Bethany: "Shopping?! Are we gonna get a new baby? I wanna get a new baby!"
Corey: "A new baby? What kind of new baby?"
Bethany: Rolls eyes "A new baby, Dad. You know, like Audrey. A new baby."
Corey: "Ohhhh, a real new baby."
Bethany: "Ya, a new baby"
Me: Fighting to hold in the laughter "Well, where would we get a new baby?"
Bethany: "At the hoss-i-pill, like Audrey, they have one for us there"
Me: Hiding behing the fridge door, trying desperately to hold in my laughter "Well we can't just go in there and get a new baby. Sorry buddy, those babies belong to someone"
Corey: " Yah Beth, those babies already have a mommy and a daddy"
Bethany: "Well they can share, those peoples need to share their babies with us."
Me:" It's not that easy kiddo, it's actually a lot of work for Mommy....and for Daddy. And someone would be really sad if we took their baby home, right?"
Bethany:" Yah" thinks for a minute "But we could share it back"
Me:"Why do you want a new baby Bethany?"
Bethany: "Because I do, and I love Audrey"

Sigh. I love her heart. This isn't the first time we've had that conversation over the past few months. A couple of weeks ago we were in Zellers and she saw a lady with a 2 week old baby and insisted we stop to look. After we talked to the mom for a minute we walked away and Beth was quiet. Then all of a sudden I hear this little voice, "Mommy, can we get a new baby?" I took a second and then said, "Well no honey, we can't just go get one" her answer "yes you can, that lady did. They're here somewhere!"

It's baffled me that she wants another one, and made my heart strings melt. Remember when I said over here that I had found peace, apparently that's not totally true. It's not something I'll elaborate on right now, but it's something that's still milling around. Even though we're both pretty sure this is it. But hearing my little big girl ask for another sibling, another little buddy to love, makes me fall in love with her. I was telling my Mom the other day about this conversation and had mentioned how it surpised me. Her answer was eye opening, she said we should take it as an awesome sign. That us having and bringing home Audrey had to have been a good experience for her to want to do it again, and that she must really love her sister. Then yesterday's conversation happened and it was confirmed.

I love that Bethany wants another baby. Not that we will, because good Lord knows I don't work on the whims of my children all the time. But I love that she has so much love she wants to share it with a sibiling. I'm also glad that we took the leap and had Audrey. I think every new baby is a leap of faith, not only financially but emotionally, physically and mentally. We worried that B wouldn't love having a sister, that she would feel left out or unloved. Instead she feels more loved, more able to love and a loyalty I can wait to see bloom. And I feel confident that as Audrey grows and time passes she'll feel just the same.

And, in the mean time we told her, we didn't need to go the hospital to pick out a new baby....we already have two babies here at home. Which of course got her goat, because "I'm NOT a baby!"

ps. Bet we had a few of you thinking we were having a new baby. Sorry to disappoint but, um NO! And the title is a reference to THIS video

About Getting Older

2010-08-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

The other day, while waiting for my Booster Juice to get the shake down I picked up a copy of "The Coffee Coach - Chilliwack Edition" It's something like "Coffee News" and is full of interesting little articles and witty snipits.

Being that I'm a book lover, that makes me a reading lover. If I don't have a book to read, I'll pick up a newspaper, a cereal box or the bottle of Tylenol on the counter for something to read. I can't just sit and stare at a wall. So, in usual fashion I was reading away, mildly interested until I found the "Perks of the Week" on the back. A few of them actually made me giggle out loud.

Audrey's favourite Breakfast food. Every morning after her milk I hear, "Nana? Nana? NANA!"

Since it's Friday, I thought I'd share and start your weekend off with a smile. The subject of this week's Perks, "About Getting Older"

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

I don't know how I Got over the hill without getting to the top.

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

I was mildly interested in these (although the odometer one made me smile) until the last one. I don't think you have to wait until you're old to laugh at trouble, because unless I'm old (and you are NOT to answer that) I find some kinds of said trouble funny. I think it more takes becoming a parent, if I didn't laugh sometimes at the antics of our girls I wouldn't survive the days.

This is what I got when I asked Bethany to "Smile beautiful". I could help but laugh, she was far to into her Banana and Dora to actually smile.

The problem is, there are times when it's seriously not funny, the girls are throwing around a 'tude or having a screaming contest. I hate kids screaming, we have a rule in our house that real screams are saved for emergencies only. I don't want them playing and screaming because a) my eardrums can't take it and b) I'll get used to it being a "play sound" and then something horrible will happen, they'll get hurt or someone will try to take them and I won't respond. That fear motivates me to have said rule. However, the look on their faces, particularily Audrey's makes me laugh until I cry, making the demands to stop and the threat of punishment virtually useless. Oh well, we'll get there, or I'll punish them with my eyes closed, one way or another that kind of trouble won't be funny for long...I hope.

Do you have any words of wisdom or anicdotes about aging that need to be added to the list?

Our new Neigh-bour

2010-08-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

We have a new neighbour. If you've ever been to our place you know that this time of year we are surrounded by corn fields, aside from the landlords across the street we have no other neighbours. There are other people who live on our road but they are way down, privacy is in abundance. It means that when ~~I get distracted by my children and totally forget to finish getting dressed, thus walking around with pants and a bra nobody can see~~ we're haning out nobody can see in the windows. It also means when we've got the tunes blaring and we're singing and dancing along, I don't need to be concerned that we're waking or annoying anyone. It's great.

It's one of the things we love about living here. Being that we're out in the cow country there are those lovely Chilliwack odors that can make the air heavy sometimes and out here in the farmlands, with fields directly behind us those odors can be slightly, magnified. So privacy and quiet (aside from those farmers who are on drugs and think that 3am is the time to take down the corn!) are our smell survival bonus'.

Back to the neighbour, he kind of caught us off guard. He doesn't live in a traditional house and in fact over the past few weeks has moved into the empty lot directly beside our driveway. It's not totally bad, because of where he is, he can't see into our window (bonus for me!) but he's a restless sort and all his rustling around has been known to scare the bejeepers out of me at 11:00 at night. He loves carrots and adores my children, over all we're kinda glad he's here.

In case you hadn't guess yet, our new neighbour is a horse*. He's the landlords horse and for whatever reason they keep moving him from his usual place on their farm over to the lot. He's 27 and apparently that's old in horse years - I happen to resent the fact that anyone imply that 27 is old but hey, he's a horse. He used to do chariot races and take little kids on horse rides but he's retired now, he's old and sweet and my girls LOVE him.

He's usually in the lot for 2 weeks or so at a time and then back in the farm for a few days. On the days he's here the kids love to go see him before we go out for the day. Each girl carrying a carrot as a food offering, watching him munch and slobber the carrot all over the ground. It makes their day. Beth loves him but is slightly afraid to touch him, his sheer size is to her, intimidating. Audrey on the other hand thinks he's awesome and wants to touch him and pet him and I'm pretty sure if horses licked faces she'd be down with that. I might puke, but she'd be all, "Ohhhh, he loves me"

He's a sweet ol' fella and if we had to get a neighbour this year we're glad it was him. The girls would love to have a horse, I always secretly wanted one and this way we get the best of both worlds - we get to feed and visit a horse, and they get to deal with the poop. And since it seems these days I spend at least 3 hours in a day wiping bums, I'm down with that deal.

*We are sure this horse has a name, unfortunately we have yet to connect with the landlords to get that name. Before he moved in, Kathy was telling me all about him but never mentioned a name....they've since been gone or we've been busy and thus, to us he's just Horse. Sometimes I think it's almost easier and have even contemplated being just Girl, for simplicity.

From the Soapbox - Emergency Dudes

2010-08-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had to ride in the back of an ambulance? Have you ever been so sick that you've needed the help of the paramedics? How about the firemen, has your house ever been on fire? Have you ever stood and watched the home of your neighbours burn to ashes while brave men, go barreling through the flame encased doors to rescue whomever might be left inside? Maybe not, what about the police, have you ever been pulled over for a ticket? Wait! That's not where I was headed.... Lets try again, have you ever been in an accident and needed their help? Have they directed traffic for you, driven you home? Maybe they showed up to break up a brawl between your husband and Josh Duhamel (who would have known Josh would see your Facebook page, decide you were undeniably hot, leave the set of Transformers 3 and fly directly to your door, uninvited, unsolicited - heck you don't even know the guy. Only to come face to face with your sexy and protective husband. Then you decide that two dudes fighting over you isn't really hot, you love your husband, Josh needs to go home to Fergie and you, need a little RCMP intervention)?

Maybe you haven't had some of those moments, but I have. Not so much Josh Duhamel and Corey but I have been sick enough to be in an ambulance, and so has one of my babies. I did stand, many years ago and watch my neighbour's home burn, explosions coming from the garage, watching the firemen go in and out, around the house soaking the surrounding yards trying to protect our homes. And I've had that car accident, where the police showed up to block traffic, to offer me comfort and to drive me home.

After meeting them, these people blow my mind. Everyday they get up and chose to put their lives in danger for people like me. They williningly stand in front of a crazy dude with a gun to protect those around them. They stand on the side of a busy highway, trying with all their might to save the life of an accident victim, and if I haven't said it enough they also walk into flames, you know those HOT orange things. What's so amazing is they all do it happily, they do it selflessly and they do it without a hit to the head that causes confusion and a concussion. I would need at least a major concussion and some liquid courage to do what they do.

I wish I could say I could be that person, I don't think I could. Don't get me wrong, I'd stand in front of a moving train for my kids (although standing on the sidelines watching the train together is more appealing) and I'd take a bullet for my husband but to everyday get up and know that I'm potentially putting myself in danger, that I might not come home to the people I love more than life itself, I couldn't do it. Maybe that makes me selfish, maybe not but either way you won't see me in a snazy red hat anytime soon.

The thing about these guys that makes me angry - they earn pennies for what they do. When I road in the ambulance with AJ to the hospital in Abbotsford back in October I got to talking to the EMT that was caring for her. He worked crazy hours, with a little girl at home and another on the way, he gave up his time with his wife and child(ren) so that my little girl could be transported and cared for. And for all his time and effort, the dude barely made ends meet. In fact, he also had a side business to keep their family afloat. He wasn't complaining, I asked, to him it was a fact of life, but a sucky one. He also drove into Vancouver twice a week to work there too, just to help with the chain of command seniority thing and the finances. He was doing what it took to provide for his family, I know a few great men like that, who do their jobs until straight exhausted for that exact purpose. Then you get places where they don't even employ the majority of their fire fighters, rather they count on the bravery of those in their community to volunteer their time and their lives to save others - awesome who doesn't love a life for free....

So, put these guys on the back burner for a second and lets take a flip to another career group. A bunch of men, who spend their days together, who travel the country together, they take a few blows to the jawbone, have more muscle in their thighs than I do on my whole body and who also carry a weapon. Their weapon doubles as a pretty wicked scorin' stick and I guess you'd call them hockey players. Now we could be talking about all athletes in general but I've chosen hockey because ya'll know I LOVE that sport. While I do prefer the juniors - they're still playing for the love of the game and the hope of the greatness it could bring them, it's something raw and intense, I think it's the most Canadian, heart pounding, crazy awesome game ever. I don't however think any one of those guys deserve a 1 million plus pay check. They don't deserve to endorse shoes, or clothes, and unless they're using their celebrity to help someone else, I don't even think they deserve that. In the whole scheme of their day, what do those guys do for anyone else besides provide mild to heart attack inducing entertainment (mild = canucks, heart attack= Chilliwack Chiefs circa 2001/2002)?

How is that our society has become so twisted, so backwards that we are content to pay the people who seriously and honestly impact hundreds of people on a daily basis, hardly enough to survive? But we have no problem letting the guys who purposly ram their bodies into boards and plexiglass, and who throw a few punches for entertainment's sake earn enough in two years to sustain a modest family for years? Does this scenerio strike anybody else as weird? Wrong? As if it were devised by someone using drugs?

We all complained when the EMT's went on strike, "greed' was muttered under people's breath, "selfish" came the cry from others, yet they never stopped working they just cut back to skeleton crew to try to prove a point. But when Joe Canuck over there refuses 2.5 million for a better offer of 4 million and private urinal in the locker room, we nod with compassion and understanding. Oh, I understand a lot buddy (especially privacy when you pee...I so know what it's like to have an audiance, all. the time.) it's there for the taking, and you are taking. We all happily take what's offered to us, if someone offered me that kind of money to do what I love, I'd take it too. But what I hope is that I'd do something great with it, and by great I don't mean a trip to Europe. I'm sure many of the folks getting that kind of salary, do in fact do something great with it. What I wonder is what if? What if we didn't pay athletes so much, or actors for that matter? What if their pay cheque mirrored mine or yours and what if the people who do something important got even half of what those big earners made? What if their hard work and dedication, brough financial security to their families instead of just stress and worry?

I won't change the world or the way it thinks, odds are neither will you but we can try. The next time you curse a cop for a ticket* or roll your eyes at the ambulance who now needs you to MOVE OVER AND GET OUT OF THE WAY ALREADY (do you know how many people freeze at sight of lights and sirens? ) thank them too. If the fire-dudes are selling calenders, buy one support the cause, you do not have to look at the pictures and drool, you could give it to your grandma for christmas or something. If you see a EMT in Timmy's buy him a coffee or at least give a smile, these guys and gals do great things for us. And if we can't hand them a million bucks the least we can do is treat them like it!

*I've had a speeding ticket, so yes I speed, and no I wasn't happy. But just remember when or if you get one, you deserve it, you were speeding, even if it was only 15km over, they're just doing their job trying to get you safely to yours.

Crafty Critters

2010-08-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

Summer days are awesome and all, but a person ~~who loathes the heat and secretly wishes for fall most days~~ can only spend so much time outside. Also, said persons' children get to tired and grumpy to be outside any longer and so it is that we resort to other activities.

As is the norm for us during the nicer weather, craft time takes a back seat. With pools and walks, adventures and swingsets there ends up being very little time for our indoor creativity to come out. The other day however, Corey was gonna be gone late, the girls were slightly less than happy and I was desperate. So, out came my big craft tower and we got to creating.

Sometimes, our creating results in endless pieces of paper covered in glue and misc stuff. Bethany would be content to sit at the table and glue for hours, but somedays I try to purpose that gluing. This day, that's exactly what I did. And now with Audrey getting older wanting to be just like her sister, I have to purpose crafts that they both can manage.

We started with two empty granola bar boxes, I cut the flaps off the top. (Please note these bars are strictly Coreys, I'm a fan of the fruit and nut kind of granola, he's a fan of the chocolate and marshmellow sort - stinkin' metabolisms)

The girls each chose their favourite color paper, for Bethany of course it was green (which is her ultimate favourite color) and for Audrey it was "yella" she actually says it just like that and I couldn't help by self but ask her to say it about 15 times before we carried on. They each took a glue stick and covered the box in glue. I touched up the job and then attached their paper, essentially wrapping the boxes, leaving the top open.

Then they set out to decorating. We have oodles of stickers to decorate with, the foam ones, shiny ones all sorts. I find that with little ones like Audrey especially who can't work the glue properly these give them the same results as their older sibling with out the hassle. And for Beth, sometimes it's nice to do a craft that isn't so messy!

I also punched holes in the sides of each kids box. Now be warned if you try to use a hole punch and are ~~as cheap as I am~~ frugal, such as I , therefore deciding to purchase your hole punch at the dollar store, don't use that hole punch on this craft. Between the thickness of the box and the craft paper it can be a little tricky to punch through. Then if you have the brute strength of Superman (thank you Total Gym and two children over 25lbs) like I do, and then are plain stubborn and determined, you'll bend the punch so badly that the two handles touch and the top one is also twisted. Good times....not so successful. I used the end of a pair of scissors and did it the other way.

When the kids were finished I threated through two pipe cleaners fastened together, attached name signs I made them and voila! We had two little mail inboxes for their doors.

These guys LOVE getting mail. There is nothing that excites Bethany more than mail, so I thought this way if she gets any in the real mail (if you want to send her some mail e-mail me for our address, she'd love it!) I could put it in there for her to find, and otherwise I can leave the girls love notes and such. I did just that the first night they were up and the very first thing she said when she came piling into bed with me that morning was, "MOM! I have mail! The mail guy came, while I was sleeping and, and, and....I HAVE MAIL!"

Audrey still thinks her's is a purse, but that's ok, it still lands on her door at night. I love when crafts turn out successful, watching them enjoy the "fruits of their labour" is sweet and I hope is teaching them to love the creative girls inside!

The moments are so sweet

2010-08-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

I love this photo, I love the color, I love the angle and I love the moment. It was on our adventure day to Whistler, the day had gone well, but if you've ever driven there from Chilliwack and back in one day you'll know that it was long! The kids had been good, and considering the length of time we'd spent in the car had slept very little. They were tired, slightly whiney and we were headed home. Corey glanced over at the park on the ocean and then at me, we didn't have to say anything the decision was easy, we'd stop. What was another half an hour on a long day to give our little water bugs a chance to throw a few rocks into the sea. (They also happened to see a seal when we stopped which was the highlight of the day for all of us).

When we are away from home for the day I pack an arsenal of things. I always have snacks and drinks, back up drinks, first aid kits and more drinks. I have changes of clothes, jackets, sunscreen, hats, a camera and of course drinks (our kids could probably drink Okanagan lake dry in a day). And I usually pack pjs for them. We've learned that it's easier to put them in their gear and let them fall asleep at bedtime or close to it in the van rather than fight them to stay awake. They don't always pass out, but more often than not they do - making bedtime a breeze, transfer, tuck and relax.

This trip was no different, they were geared for sleep so at the last minute we added shoes for our stop. As Corey walked away, one girl on each side, my heart got a little bigger and a little softer. That picture sums them up. When Daddy's around he's flanked by his ladies, they're his helpers, he's their playmate and together they're my family.

Maybe I sound like a broken record sometimes, but Corey really is a great Dad. These guys are so fortunate to have a Dad who loves to do things with them, who hates to miss moments with them and who loves them so much. He is to them, what my Dad is to me. Not that their relationships are the same as mine is with my Dad, but the love is. It's so neat to see how they can have such different relationships with him and yet be so much the same.

Bethany loves to help her Dad, she's on his heels if he's outside working. She wants to get her "goof-driver" and work under the hood of a car with him, she's content to pick up rocks or dump bucket upon bucket of water all over the driveway just be near him. If she's not getting her way with me, she'll almost always burst into tears and say the very same thing, "I miss my DAAAAAAD! I want my Daddy to come home!!!" Now this is partially because she's convinced that he'd give her whatever it is she's so desiring at the moment, because of course I'm a horrible mother, but part of it is that he's her comfort and she misses him when he's away.

Then there's Audrey, that little girl's world revolves around her Daddy. He is literally who she asks for every.single.morning. From her crib you'll hear, "Mama? MAMA!" and when I walk in it's all, "Da -eee? Dada? Da-eee?!!" If he's working she'll usually nod and carry on her morning, if not though he first thought is to ambush him in bed. More than once a day you'll hear her on the phone "Hi Da? Gooo. Ok Bye!" If the floor creeks, if the washing machine stops or if a fly sneezes she'll say, "Da-ee? Home?" And when he finally does come home, she races to the door and stands there pounding on it until either he opens it or I do. When Corey's home she's stuck to him like glue, she'll wait around while he showers, follow him from room to room, she's content to be where he is. Always.

These girlies love their Dad, he plays different than I do, he lets them try things, he loves to go outside, he's awesome to them. And the neat thing is, their Daddy loves them back. I get a kiss when he gets home and then he's off to find the kid who didn't come to the door. He scoops them up and hugs them with as much enthusiasm as they do and he's happy.

I'm so glad that Corey's that dad who wants his kids around. I'm so glad that he wants daddy dates with them, that he wants to know their habits and their favourites, that he wants to build a solid bond with each of them, that he can love this parenting gig as much as I do.

But mostly I'm glad that he's my partner in this, and that we can capture those moments, because they really are so sweet.

Girl, put your records on*

2010-07-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

We're musical beings over here at OFS. In fact, at the very moment I've got some tune's playing and I'm listening to Bethany sing - "Lady's and Gentlemans, presenting the new song of us....Handy Manny! Handy Manny! Besany and Audrey! Besany and Audrey! HANDY MANY AND ME!" While some tunes are a little more relaxing than others, music is what keeps us kickin'.

I recently downloaded a few new tunes (and got 10 Lilith Fair Songs for Free! From iTunes yay!) and have been boppin' around learning the lyrics, belting them out at the top of my lungs. I always think it's funny that while I can't seem to remember what's on my grocery list, what I was thinking 15 seconds ago (which can making writing a blog or having a conversation slightly difficult) or what size tires are on my van, I can at any given time recall dozens if not hundreds of song lyrics, in their entirity. I chalk it up to the learning powers of music and plan whole heartedly to raise genius children by teaching them any and everything important to the tune - "I am slowly going crazy, 1,2,3,4,5,6, switch" because they are responsible for it playing on repeat in my brain at all hours of the day.

And while I love some of my new favourites, I also have some seriously awesome oldies that I hang onto. I think just like scent, music connects not only to our memories but to our hearts. Did you know that scent is the only sense that is directly linked to your memory, which is why the smell of Old English Leather might remind you of your Dad or French Vanilla candles remind you that Ashley sells PartyLite and it was the best home party you'd ever had...or something. (random fact #249)

Dan Seals - Bop - This song throws me back to the early 90's, just shortly after my parents bought a CD player (for those of you who don't know, CD's have not been around forever, we used to have cassettes and Atracks and records - google it) my Mom would put this CD on and we'd dance and sing and Jive around our living room. It's been on my iTunes' playlist for a long time and every so often when it comes on, I stop what I'm doing and tear up the rug with my girls, in our living room, hopefully giving them the same memory.

Brittini Black's - Life is Good - Somedays this parenting, adulthood gig is tough. I can on occassion get into quite the funk about it and need a pick me up. I only downloaded this on Sunday, but already it's made my current top 5. Which, like the American Top 20 with Ryan Seacrest, changes every week.

Crystal Shawanda's - I Need a Man - Now before you go and get all worried, I'm not saying I actually need a man, but this song makes me think of Corey. It's also my kinda country - which might just drive my Corey nuts but I love the sound of her voice and the kids love jumpin' around while I sing along. I heard her for the first time when I went to see REBA and loved her then, and yes, REBA almost always required capitals she's that exciting!

Sky's - Love Song - This is a throw back to my awkward and seemingly endless high school days. This song was cool back then, and while I totally made up the lyrics because I couldn't understand them, I still loved this tune. It took a long time for iTunes to get it but once they did it was added to the mix.

REBA's - I keep on Loving You - This is new for her, and while I'm mostly a fan of the oldies - Does He love you, Walk On and Is there Life Out There, this song spoke to my heart. Longevity in marriage these days seems few and far between. We hear more about people we know and love getting a divorce than we do about them hitting milestone points in their marriage, at least ones that surpass 10 years. I know marriage is hard, I know it takes work, I've seen first hand in my parents the battles that it takes to keep it together. But I also know that I love Corey with every breath I have and in this life I'll do whatever it takes to keep it together.

U2's - Where the Streets Have No Names - What's a favourite songs list without this one. It's U2 and it is, in my book the most powerful song ever written and it can shake a soul. To be cliche and stuff.

As you can see, I've got a pretty good list of awesomes, hopefully if you haven't already you'll go ahead and check them out (otherwise the bazillion hours I spent linking to them all was wasted) and will add a few to your collection. But here's what I need from you, I need more songs!

What are you listening to right now? Don't make it up, don't put something "cool" I want to know what song is playing right this second as you read this. If there's nothing on the radio/computer/ipod, then what's playing through your mind?

*I know I didn't list Put your Record's on in the group, because it's not top 5 this week, but it is in there and I do like it, and well, it made a good title

The Night My World Caught Fire

2010-07-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

I remember that night as clearly as if I were living it right now. I had worked the late shift, back then I always worked the late shift. We were down most of our staff by closing that night, the phone calls from home, the evacuations, the fear has sent most of them home. We were left with a cosmetician, a pharmacist and me. I put the money in the safe, I locked the doors, we turned out the lights and we walked out the door.

I thought I knew what to expect, after all, this had been happening for more than a few days now, the air would be thick, the parking lot deserted, the night uncomfortably still. As I walked to my car, ash falling around me I inevitably turned my face in the direction of the chaos. It's like a car crash, nobody wants to see, but everyone slows down to look - the curiosity of human nature feeds our desire for the undesirable. But that night, it wasn't like it had been so many nights before, instead of a cloud of smoke it was a wall of flame, my stomach dropped to my feet and for a second I'm pretty sure my heart took a guest roll in River dance.

Photo from Castanet.net John Salaraz

"This is as close to Hell as I ever want to come" I thought, that has to be what hell is like. The flames, the fear, the earie silence, where sound should erupt. I said that very thing to my Mom as I called to report in, striking fear into her heart too. I'd never seen anything like it before, the beauty of the flames a deceiving cover for their destructive intentions. I'd never seen the hand of God before that moment, but I believe I did then. The fight that raged on was terrifying.

The Pharm, was only a few Kilometers from the fire by then. The evacuations had moved down the hill, and the fire that had started so far away was knocking on our door. I didn't know if I'd have a job in the morning at the rate it was running. I lived across the water back then, I just had to get over the bridge and I'd be safe. If I could just get away, into the safety of my tiny suite I could pretend it wasn't happening, life could be normal.

It wasn't normal, it took me 2 hours to get out of the city that night and when I got home I could still see the flames. I could smell the smoke and I lay awake most of the night on my couch watching the local continuous coverage, feeling helpless. My landlord, a local firefighter was up there, he had a baby girl named Ashley who was 6 months old, she needed him, what if he didn't come home? My co-workers and friends had homes up there, many of which had already been lost, what if they never got control? As my over active imagination kicked into high gear, I felt the peace of God and exhaustion was over me and sleep finally game.

It's been 7 years since the Okanagan Mountain WildFire, and yet to me it feels like yesterday. Some of my co-workers did lose their homes in that fire, other's had their house be the only one left standing on an entire row of homes. There was no method to the fire's fury and being the last man standing left wounds almost more deep than if their home had been lost. The smell of forest fire smoke, still makes me sick to my stomach and the report of another BC wildfire leaves me angry.

I know fire comes from natural causes, I know lightening and such cause these fires but I also so know so many could be prevented. So many are human "error", neglect or intentionally caused. I understand the fascination with the flames, I really do, I looked into them and found their mesmerizing power. But I don't understand some one's need to see them, to cause great destruction...for what?

It's hot right now, parts of our province are in threat of a draught and that means fire risks are at an ultimate high. So be careful! If you smoke, first off - quit! I don't have to tell you what your doing to your insides, you know it, so don't. And secondly if you're ignoring my first request, be responsible, don't throw your butts (or I'll kick the one you sit on), no matches out the window etc. If you're camping and decide to have a fire - put it right out, move those ashes around and dose them with water, make sure there's nothing that could cause a stray ember to spark a flame. Just be smart, and check out the BC Forestry website to make sure you're even allowed to be burning.

That fire left burn marks on my heart, on the hearts of so many. Be responsible, be smart and be safe. And please remember if you see a fire in BC you can report it super easy from your cell phone *5555 program it in your address book and hang onto it. Then if you see something suspicious, even if you think someone else will phone, call it in. You never know when you'll save a tree or a life.

Home Day

2010-07-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

With as busy as life can get, sometimes I forget how good it feels to have a home day. Our weekends are so often crammed to the brim with "fun" and errands we barely breath, and Monday morning we feel as though we've been on a treadmill for 2 days straight - it doesn't end up being very relaxing.

This past Sunday, however we put our feet down, or rather our tushies. We decided to have ourselves a home day (because with church starting earlier for the summer months, we can't manage to get our act together and get out the door in time), Corey and Bethany spent 2 plus hours cleaning his truck. Audrey had a super long nap, I cleaned my house, and did laundry and just was content to be here.

After a lunch of homemade ice cream and strawberries, and some noodles after the fact we headed outside to play in the kid's pools. It's hot here, high 20's low 30's and while that's hot for anybody, it's unusual for us. It's also a very different heat than we had grow accustom to in the interior and it's muggy, blech. But Sunday's heat came with a beautiful breeze, and who doesn't like to be outside, playing in the shade, relaxing.

All the fun in the sun and the pool tired us out and it was definately a lazy afternoon kind of day. We came in, puttered around a bit, threw two grass covered little girls in the tub and hung out. The kids, who'd already thought they'd hit the lottery just about came unglued when I asked them if they'd like Little Caesar's Pizza (instead of home made, I was NOT turning on the oven) to have as a picnic in the living room to watch a movie. Are you kidding, Mom? Are you sick, on drugs, out of your mind? You're gonna let us eat pizza, in the living room AND watch a movie?!!

Around here while I may let them have a snack and sometimes their breakfast toast in the living room, lunch and dinner are at the table. We also have a rule the kids don't get to have the TV on after dinner. That's quite often the only time they see their dad and the last thing they need to be doing is killing brain cells with the boob tube. But we were all tired yesterday and one of the great things about being the Mom is you can break the rules and nobody puts you in time out.

The evening went wonderfully, Corey and the kids loved their pizza, I snuck in a bath, because watching them eat pizza is more than I can stand, too hard not to eat at least the gooey cheese on top. I love my baths, complete with book and bubbles. They're like my battery re-charge.

Our home day was perfect, they fell asleep almost as soon as we finished praying and Corey and I collapsed on the couch tired, but content. It's always nice to be reminded that the best memories come in the moments we're together, not in the dollars spent or the distance travelled.

B was so tired after playing that while she was waiting for her Daddy to fill the tub she passed out on the kitchen floor. I was hanging clothes on the line and could hear Corey calling and calling her. I came out to find her (she hides every so often when she's in a "I'm never getting clean again" mood) and found this....too cute!

What's your favourite thing to do on a home day?

On the Menu tonight...

2010-07-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

I love to cook, in fact, I love to be in the kitchen. Washing, chopping, shredding, dicing and slicing all bring great amounts of relaxation. I love to measure, scoop and bake too, there's something so satifying to see the results of your labour and even more, seeing someone enjoy it. I'm super lucky to have a husband who savours every, single thing I bake. This would include the very, very,very overdone cookies from last week - I may have forgotten them for an extra 5 minutes in my oven, but thanks to the wonder of my Pampered Chef Bar Pan they did not burn but rather just got really dark and caramelly. I don't care for that flavour but Corey gobbled them up.

The problem, however lies in this - I'm not very adventurous when it comes to meals. I'll try just about any cookie recipe, or muffin but the idea of screwing up supper scares me. I am also an uber picky eater with a corn allergy (which removes corn, corn syrup, dextrose, Maltodextrin, blah, blah, fickety blah), I have girls who aren't super picky but they one of them has a dislike for trying new things at the moment. They love veggies and fruit, like pasta and don't mind chicken, hotdogs and some beef. Pork, not so much. We try to limit hotdogs because they're not really high on the nutrition scale, and hold so much salt. Same goes for anything packaged - have you ever read the label on a can of Chef Boyardee? The salt and preservatives are scary. But the 'dogs are a treat for the kids once in awhile, actually for the kids and their Dad.

I make spaghetti (sauce homemade of course), lasagne with the same sauce, perogies and sausage, roasts, soups, stews, borcht, cabbage rolls (lazy mans), chicken if I have to, meatloaf and a few other things. But I'm bored, and I also am terrified of the bbq which means in this heat we're left to stove top cooking because you'd have to be nuts to turn on the oven right now. I do check online at Recipe.com (formerly RecipeZaar) and find some awesome ones, but again it's the newness factor.

I used to do a lot with mushroom soup sauce but Campbell's has a hate on for me and has added cornstarch to most of their canned soups. I'm in the process of looking for an awesome homemade mushroom soup recipe. I've also become a habitual label reader and the more I read the more I think that the raw diet has some validity. Not so much for the diet but for the cleanliness of eating. God's a great chef, why mess with it.

Here's where I need your help. Anyone have any super recipes they can share? Either link to it or leave in the comments? I need ideas, I need help! What does your family love? What can't you live without? I'd love some good casserole recipes, things that are quick - when we get home from work quite often I've only got about half an hour or 45 minutes to get supper on the table. Does anyone have a great pizza crust recipe that freezes well? I can't have any kind of store bought pizza and it's a love of my family's, so if I want to eat with them I either need to make it on my own of I use a biscuit recipe I have. It tastes really good but isn't so good for freezing.

Anyways, any suggestions would be awesome. I need to get some newness over here before Kraft Dinner finds it's way into a food group - gah!

It's Crazy and it's a Creek

2010-07-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Before our dip in the hot pools

With all the hot summer weather and fun, exciting giveaways I've neglected to blog about some big happenings around these parts. Nothing earth shattering, just the stuff that has filled our days. With the weather being so nice we've been taking up the opprotunities to get out and do some things with the girls when Corey's home. We've done lots of different day trips, to White Rock, to the beach here, to Whistler - which in case you are wondering is way further away from Chilliwack than Corey said and the drive was really long. It's been fun, nice to get out and just be the four of us.

Our morning buddy, sunning himself on the rocks behind our patio

Our summers are typically very busy. Up until this year Corey's been working like a dawg all summer, and while he's still quite busy (this is their slow season) we've had a little more time with him around. It's nice, we actually like having the guy around and so being together as a foursome is such a treat. Any of the overnight travels done during the summer months for us usually involve extended family. There's so many to visit that we make usually one, sometimes two trips back home to K-town for visits in the summer, then there's friends who often get missed amongst the family trips and weddings and bbq we're supposed to be at and graduations, and, and, and. The list goes on and before we know it the summer is over, the computer is packed with new photos and we're standing there with a little drool on our faces, tattered suitcases in tow. (That's just a visual, we actually just got given 2 new beautiful suitcases and the girls have their Dora ones of course)

Playing matching with Daddy

A few years ago, we made a decision that at least once a summer we'd like to plan a trip that was strictly for our little family. While we love the extended family and friends, this is the family we're most concerned with. The bonds and memories formed with these little girls are the ones we want to solidify and time spent together is so important for growing and bonding as a unit. -End exerpt from annoying parenting manual-

Mommy wanting a nice family of my 3 - Audrey said No pictures

Anyways, last weekend we did just that. It turned out that Corey had Friday off as well as the weekend and I did something very unusual. I was spontaneous, spent 2 hours Thursday afternoon research locations, picked a place, called and booked it and then in a whirlwind made lists (that I usually compile over a matter of a week) bought groceries and packed suitcases.

It was nuts, stressful and gave me heart palpitations. Literally. I hate spontinatity, I like routine and plan, I like order and tidiness. I also, in other notes love symetry and any display I built in any of my stores or for a PartyLite show is always symetrical, sigh.

Where did we go? Well, we went to a little place in the middle of nowhere called Crazy Creek. Half way between Sicamous and Revelstoke, Crazy Creek boasts waterfalls (which we did not hike up to because they A) charged admission - what? who charges to see nature?! and b) it was all stairs and I can't do stairs with a stroller) and Hot pools. The website said they had condos, which turned out to be a bit misleading. They were actually modular homes, and the beds were completely hard. But it was brand new, and it was nice and while in the middle of nowhere we had a wonderful time. I was a little confused though, it's called Crazy Creek, we know there was a waterfall but where the heck was the creek? I never did see it. We did see the train that was less than 1km from the home, that went through every half hour honking his horn. Good thing we're used to trains around these parts, the kids slept right through them.

The horse ride at the Enchanted Forest

The nice part about Crazy Creek, is that because they aren't in a major tourist location they were affordable, they were close enough to some attractions for us to get out and do some things with the girls without being totally overwhelmed with places to go and things to do. My other uber favourite part was because it was a modular home it had a kitchen! That meant I could cook for us most of the weekend, saving both dollars on restaurants and making it so that I could eat with my family. Corey just laughed everytime I gushed about how glad I was to be able to cook and not have to stress over the eating portion of our vacation.

Everyone loves Winnie the Pooh, and Tigger Too!

Saturday saw us heading into Revelstoke for a bit and then to the Enchanted Forest. Now, both Corey and I have drive past there many a time and thought "Lame, what could possible be so cool for kids in there". Boy were we wrong!!! It was amazing, the characters and stories in that forest were wonderful. The girls loved it and we'll be going back again another time. If you're ever on the Trans Canada heading that way and see the Enchanted Forest, kids or not do yourself a favor and stop, you won't be sorry.

This guy was electronic and talked, poor Bethany almost came right out of her skin

We meandered our way back home on Sunday, and pulled in shortly after 9pm. Two little girls fast asleep, two parents more tired than before they left (aside: did you know as a parent holidays require sleep prior to and after coming home? When you have children they are not full of rest and relaxation but rather exhaustion.) but a thoroughly happy family.

Turtle Tea

It was a great weekend away and we just might do it again. They're developing the Crazy Creek "resort" and we're excited to see what next year brings.

I love these guys.

So what about you? Have any of you found any hidden treasures in BC? And destinations that aren't on the major radar but should be?

It's nice to be a winner!

2010-07-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Well, the contest is closed! The winner has been selected and it's time for the reveal. Because it's Sunday and I'm slightly less than awake yet, and because I don't want to spend an hour at the computer I'm just going to tell you who won, tell them how to claim their prize and carry on.

Before I do, I will tell you that there is another giveaway planned very, very soon! You'll have to keep checking back to find out when and it probably won't be in the title, you'll have read on to find it! So keep watching, you never know when something awesome's headed your way.

The Winner is......

The Smith's for their comment... (Before you keep reading, click on the link to their blog. They are new to us here at Our Family Stone and are expecting a baby very soon. Go over, wish them luck and take a read!)

Ola! I am definitely a Starbucks fan... and I definitely now make my own GTL (green tea lemonade) at home... because the girl told me how to make it. So sad. Although it definitely does not taste the same as the way they make it at the store so when I am in town... I still buy GTL's to drink. I am a fan of the raspberry lemon loaf and the banana chocolate chip loaf too. So yummy in my preggo belly!

Congratulations guys! You have 48 hours to claim your prize. You can e-mail me at ashleystone7(at)hotmail(dot)com with your mailing address and clarification that Starbucks is the prize you'd like, you know because I don't want to read that comment and assume - we all know what that gets you :-)

Disclaimer: If the winner doesn't contact me by Tuesday July 27 2010 at 10am a new winner will be selected and posted. Again, these prizes were purchased for this giveaway by Our family Stone. There is no advertising or payment being received for this contest, yadda, yadda, Yadda.

Summer Giveaway: It's all Revealed!

2010-07-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's Friday! And you all know what that means?! It's reveal day! That's right, although it may be a little later in the day than I intended I have the Summer Giveaway prize assembled and photographs taken and so it's time to share it with ya'll.

Now, before I do that (and the crowd collectively groans.... ) it only seems right that I share another thing that makes me happy. Seeing as how this is Friday, which is still part of the week, and well....whatever.

When it comes to things that bring me joy, giving gifts tops the list. I love the look on someone's face when they open a package that I've taken time to either create or purchase. I love knowing that if it's in the mail, someone will receive said package on a random day (because let's face it I'm too cheap to pay for it to arrive on a specific day) and that it might just be what they needed. And nothing is greater than the look on Bethany or Audrey's face when I pull something tiny, something to me insiginficant but to them monumental from a shopping bag after a Monday night Grocery shop.

I think in general making someone happy, brings the average person joy. Now that's not to say that we don't all enjoy being on the receiving end*, because we do. But there's something so complete about a selfless act, whether it's a gift, an action or a kind word. It's one of the great things about this rat race we call life, no matter how crappy your day is, making someone else's better ultimately brightens yours, even just slightly.

That's not just a reference to giveaways here, but to parts of my life in general. I love sending out small encouragement notes, or thank you cards, or yes, even Facebooking a hello. You never know when those kind words, even if they are in the form of a comment (hint) make someone feel important, make them feel validated (hint, HINT), make them feel loved (get it yet?). All kidding aside, take today, after you've commented to solidify yourself a place in this giveaway, and do something kind for someone else. Whatever it is you want to give, that's your business, but do it and savour it and know that you've done something to make everyone happy.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Or at least, you started waiting for it since the beginning of this post, or if you're like me and God forgot to give you patience so you scrolled to this part to see the prize and then went back to dutifully read the post incase there was something important you couldn't miss....

Inside this Summer Giveaway you'll find some of the things we (because this is our family blog) love...

Go Fish Fizzing Bath Sand - This stuff fizzes away in the tub, turning your water a lovely, orange frosty shade

Blistex Raspberry Lemonade Blast SPF 15 - Remember when I was on my Soap Box a few weeks ago about Suncare, you can't forget your lips, skin cancer grows there and most of us forget to protect them. Keep in mind that 15 SPF is the minimum required to protect you and more is even better. Apply often and enjoy!

One Step Cucumber Melon Hand Sanitizer - With the heat and the moisture found in so many places this summer, water parks, pools, beachs bacteria LOVES to grow. We don't go anywhere without some on hand, keep the worst of the germies away! And I love the Fragrance.

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Massage lotion - This does say for stretch marks, and I did use a huge bottle while pregnant with Bethany (hello, two babies and no marks, aside from one on a boob that didn't grow and never got milk, that's Murphey for ya) this is amazing for dry, cracked summer hands and heels. Put it on at night before bed with some warm socks and you'll have soft heel in no time!

Bath Towel - You'll notice the "beach" towel in the background, I did not notice until after that this is not an adult size towel but rather a kid size one. That's ok though, we have kids, and if you don't you might have a dog.

St.Ives Apricot Scrub - We love this stuff! Corey loves it for his face to remove all the grim from work without smelling like a giant orange. I love it for my face and also my knees - exfoliate your knees before you shave or wax and get a closer, smoother, longer lasting shave (No this is not a commercial)

PartyLite- You'll get a mixed box of a dozen summer PartyLite tealights, to use and enjoy!

Dairy Milk - We've already talked about this, HERE.

Cadbury Flake - This is my FAVOURITE bar. It's made from the "left over" bits of chocolate from other bars. It's compressed together and is sheer cadbury heaven in your mouth. Be warned eat it either cold from the fridge, over a plate (or on ice cream) or with a whole tub of baby wipes because it can be messy

IT's up to you- I will also need to know a special tidbit from the winner to include the final piece to this puzzle. I couldn't possibly talk about Tim's or Starbucks without including a touch of one. So the winner will need to Reply to me in the alotted 48 hours, including their favourite drink choice to claim the final prize.

And that's it, the contest runs until tomorrow. I've got the rules below to doubley make sure you've been listening. Don't forget to blog about it, link here and let me know in a comment, you get more entries! The more linking the more Entries!

Here's how it works, I'm going to post each day this week about something that makes me happy. Be warned some of my "happy thoughts" may be mushy enough to deserve pixie dust, other's might be lame but they're my happy things, and I love them! Your job is to comment each day, answering the question of the day. Each comment (1 per person, per day) from Monday to Saturday will count for 1 entry into the draw I will do on Sunday for a BIG SUMMER GIFT BASKET!

Want more chances to win? Link to us on your blog, or on facebook, Telling your friends to drop your name in their comment and you'll get 1 more entry per friend! Contest closes 12:00pm Saturday July 24 2010, I will post the winner on Sunday July 25 2010, the winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize (which means let me know your mailing address etc) so I can get it in the mail before it's winter.

Question of the Day: Tell me one time, you were completely and utterly happy, with no thought of the next moment? If you can't remember, tell me what would make you that happy?

*I like receiving gifts (althought I'd rather give them) if I'm not in a huge crowd of people. I do not like big parties or crowds and surprise parties make me want to puke, so anything other than that is awesome. Just in case you were planning something for my 30th (which is coming sooner than I'd like, but not this year) please don't... Corey.

pss. This Contest and it's prizes are NOT paid for by anyone else, I bought the prize, I'm not advertising for someone, and stuff.

Summer Giveaway - Hope and Joy

2010-07-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Apparently, yesterday's title had a few people confused, so before I get going today I'd just like to clarify, No I'm not giving away the man who makes me happy. He's mine, I don't know what I did to deserve him but God passed him this way and I'm not sharing!

And so, now that we have that clear I'll continue. It's impossible to do a week of things that make me happy and leave out my two greatest joys. Actually, if you're getting specific my Hope and my Joy - my Bethany and my Audrey. They are so often the source of my laughter, the topic of my conversation and the pride in my eyes. They do, in contrast also possess the ability to drive me to the brink of insanity, to a place I thought only my Mom lived, now, I know I sent her there.

Bethany is my big girl. She's growing so quickly and she's truly becoming an awesome person. Gone are the days of a baby, she's now this chattering (constantly) little bubble of entertainment. She prides herself on being funny, loves to dance and sings songs that go something like this "I love my MOOOOOOOM, I love my DAAAAAAD, and I love AAUUUDREEEEEEEY, Oh ya! HmmmHmmHmmmm" or "Today, oh today, today, yes today" this particular song has a scratch and plays this verse on repeat for as long as I can stand it. At which time I then do my best to bite back a scream and say, "Bethany! Your song needs new words, fast!"

She's also this little bundle of compassion, if her sister cries she's right there to console her (unless she's caused the tears and then she's the first to put on a cute face and try to get out it). If you tell her you have a sore (fill in the blank) she will ask you continually if it's better until you say it is. She's sweet and Hope is such an apt middle name for her. She'll ask for something, usually a Gummy Bear and the look on her face is so full of Hope that it makes me melt. She's also says some of the funniest things....

Bethany walks over, runs her hand down my shin and says,
Bethany: "Meow. Now can I have a cat mommy?"
Mommy: "Um huh? No, sorry kiddo."

Mommy: "Bethany why does Mommy exercise?"
Bethany: "To get Injury!"
Mommy: "You mean energy?"
Bethany: "Ya, and to be healthy for us."

She's a great kid and if you get the chance, you'd be lucky to know her.

Then there's my Rosebud. She too is growing up so quickly, some days it feels as though I've blinked and a month has passed. She's a walking little bundle of engery, both good and bad. She's learning her temper and the torch of "Little Ms. Mini 'Tude" has been passed to her. She's not angry or grumpy all of the time, but in the moments that she is, look out. She's strong willed and strong natured and the phrase, "NNNNNNNNo!" is heard coming out often. I keep hanging onto something my Mom told me, I was a strong willed kid, I had tantrums that rocked the neighbourhood and I'm sure I almost broke her sometimes. But she said it was that strong will that saved me later in life, that made me able to stand up to peer pressure and to be who I've become. And since I'm pretty down with who I've become I hope that I can teach AJ to temper her temper but allow her to be who she is without breaking her spirit, so she can grow into the strong woman God's intended her to be.

But that aside, she's just full of Joy. Again I feel the name suits the sweetheart, her face is just full of light and joy. She's truly the cutest little girl you'll ever meet. She's a little shy, sometimes quiet but very quick. She's also her big sister's shadow. If Bethany does something Audrey's sure to follow suit, it's cute, it drives Beth nuts sometimes but it makes me mush. They're so different and yet, so much the same. There are times that I just have to giggle and others where I'm amazed. Courtesy of our Bethany, Audrey's decided to potty train herself, she can be heard shouting down the hall, "PEEE! Mama! PEEEE" and ya know she pees most times, often if I'm on it right away she'll keep a pull up dry for hours and a few times now she's even pooped on the potty! Wahoo! I always know when she's going to poop because as soon as her cheeks hit the seat she demands that I "Go! Mama Go!"

Audrey is her Daddy's girl, in her eyes the whole world revolves around him and that's just fine. The girls both love him but the relationship I see blooming between AJ and Corey is something neat. You never know when there's more than one kidlet how each parent will bond with the next baby and I'm so glad to know the our girls and their Daddy each have different and special relationships.

I could prattle on and on about our girls, but I think you get the drift. When it comes to things that make me happy, these girls and this family take the cake. I can't imagine life without them, I feel, on more than one occasion like I didn't breath before them and I couldn't breath without them. They are, without a shadow of a doubt my greatest achievements.

And now, on to the contest. Yup the giveaways still rolling, only a few more days to enter! And to re-cap here's the paste and copy version of the rules...

Here's how it works, I'm going to post each day this week about something that makes me happy. Be warned some of my "happy thoughts" may be mushy enough to deserve pixie dust, other's might be lame but they're my happy things, and I love them! Your job is to comment each day, answering the question of the day. Each comment (1 per person, per day) from Monday to Saturday will count for 1 entry into the draw I will do on Sunday for a BIG SUMMER GIFT BASKET! I'll reveal a photo of the basket on Friday, but for now I'll just say it's full of great goodies for everyone.

Want more chances to win? Link to us on your blog, or on facebook, Telling your friends to drop your name in their comment and you'll get 1 more entry per friend! Contest closes 12:00pm Saturday July 24 2010, I will post the winner on Sunday July 25 2010, the winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize (which means let me know your mailing address etc) so I can get it in the mail before it's winter.

*Disclaimer, this contest and it's prizes are provided by Our Family Stone. Nobody gave me anything for free to run it, paid us for the space or is sending us to Europe for a month - but they should have.

Question of the day: Tell me your greatest Joy. What gives you Hope or brings Joy to your day?

Summer Giveaway: The Guy who Makes me Happy

2010-07-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

It was almost 5 years ago I learned what truly coming home was. I learned that the "perfect man" I'd created in my mind was seriously lacking, he only possessed 1/3 of the things I needed in life, I learned that love is so much more than the high of a first date and I learned that I deserved to be loved like a fairy tale princess.

Almost 5 years ago (August 10th to be exact) I had my first date with Corey. Sometimes I look back and think, "Man it's only been 5 years? Feels longer, like forever even" and other times, it feels as though we've only just begun.

I've mushed and gushed about this guy many, many times before, and I'll spare you a good portion of the gooeyness today, but I couldn't possibly talk about things that make me happy without talking about the man I love like no other.

Corey's one of those people you can't help but like, whether it's adults or kids, old or young everyone who meets Corey love him. He's unassuming, sweet, kind and a little naive. His compassionate nature and soft spoken ways make little kids gravitate to him and they really make him a great dad, they make him a great husband.

He remembers that flowers for no reason mean more than flowers on Valentine's Day. He understands that sometimes my ~~fierce and firey~~ passionate personality causes me to laugh until tears pour down my face or get angry to the point of explosion. He knows that should that anger be pointed in his direction, it won't last long and an apology is soon to follow, and he loves me inspite of it. He still opens doors, pulls out chairs and treats me like we're on a first date, at least when his arms aren't full of little girls and/or all the stuff they require.

Corey loves our girls just the same, he's teaching them to tinker on things in the shop, how to ride a tricycle and that ice cream is it's own precious food group. He's a wonderful dad, more fun than mom sometimes because he's got the ability to let loose and not "follow the rules" but he's guiding them swiftly and smoothly towards being wonderful people. They will be better women because of their Dad, of that I'm sure.

So much for not being mushy, oh well. It's the way it is, Corey makes me mush. He also drives me bonkers, ya totally nuts but that's part of being married. I don't believe for one second that two people can live under the same roof and not have moments of frustration. Not that we argue often, we don't, but we both have our days when we simply and completely frustrate the other one. It's how this life of the married rolls.

Without a doubt, Corey is truly one of the things that makes me happy. And in keeping with things that make us happy, I'll share two of Corey's most favourite things. Ice cream and Cadbury milk chocolate. Oh, he loves all kinds of chocolate and treats, but Cadbury's takes the cake. Each Christmas I purchase a 1kg bar for him and he savours each piece as though it's his last. I on the other hand, love the chocolate and scarf it down (when it's mine that is) as if it won't land on my hips in the morning - maybe I'm a little naive too. As for ice cream, I'm pretty sure he'd sleep with a bucket and a spoon if I hadn't implemented the NO ICE CREAM IN BED rule after there was a major body pillow catastrophy.

Did anyone forget there's a Giveaway going on here?! How could you possibly forget? Well, if you did or if you've missed the last posts, here's the rules again...

Here's how it works, I'm going to post each day this week about something that makes me happy. Be warned some of my "happy thoughts" may be mushy enough to deserve pixie dust, other's might be lame but they're my happy things, and I love them! Your job is to comment each day, answering the question of the day. Each comment (1 per person, per day) from Monday to Saturday will count for 1 entry into the draw I will do on Sunday for a BIG SUMMER GIFT BASKET! I'll reveal a photo of the basket on Friday, but for now I'll just say it's full of great goodies for everyone.

Want more chances to win? Link to us on your blog, or on facebook, Telling your friends to drop your name in their comment and you'll get 1 more entry per friend! Contest closes 12:00pm Saturday July 24 2010, I will post the winner on Sunday July 25 2010, the winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize (which means let me know your mailing address etc) so I can get it in the mail before it's winter.
*Disclaimer, this contest and it's prizes are provided by Our Family Stone. Nobody gave me anything for free to run it, paid us for the space or is sending us to Europe for a month - but they should have.

So here's the question of the day: What one great treat do you love? What's that one thing you either scarf or savour, but is your absolute, hands down favourite sweet?

Summer Giveaway (that's something for free!): Starbucks' Bliss

2010-07-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

If we're gonna start talking about things that make us happy, I think now would be a good time to share that I have another love in my life. One that isn't my children or my husband, one that I visit on a very regular basis and one, that can bring me to heights of great pleasure.

We're talking about Starbucks people, and not just Starbucks but more importantly Starbucks' Earl Grey tea, sigh. It's sweet and fragrant and with a little bit of Splenda (did you know that stuff is uber sweet?!!! Half a package in a Venti tea is more than enough, unless you're my husband and then 3 are necessary) and some milk and you're set for bliss. Then, if you're feeling indulgent you add a Lemon PoppySeed loaf and pretty much you're heaven bound.

I make the tea at home sometimes and to be honest, even with milk and Splenda, it's not the same. I've decided the bliss is in the paper cup, which is actually really frightening but I just don't think of it. I've also discovered there are two kinds of Canadians, Tim Hortians and Starbuckians, you're either camp Timmy Ho's or heading to the Resort of the 'Bucks. I am a resort girl all the way. My husband, will visit Starbucks with me in good humour, but is a true Tim's man and would rather camp there than sleep in 5 star luxury. Whatever floats your boat dude.

The genius' at Starbucks headquarters also have developed their own lemonade and it's the perfect combination of sweet and tart and yumminess. It also packs more calories than my usual tea so it's a treat that's had on rare occasions, but one that again is thoroughly enjoyed. It's crossed my mind on more than one occasion that I should have been more on the ball when I was 12 years from birth and bought shares in Starbucks way back when (They opened in Seattle in 1971 - see, I'm a fount of useless information). I'd be livin' it up large now and also, I'd probably also be drinking for free.....a girl can dream.

Now before ya'll go grab your keys and head out to the nears S.Bucks, don't forget it's GIVEAWAY WEEK! You need to comment to get your name in the draw. Just to be consistant here are the rules again, and yes, they are copy and pasted....

Here's how it works, I'm going to post each day this week about something that makes me happy. Be warned some of my "happy thoughts" may be mushy enough to deserve pixie dust, other's might be lame but they're my happy things, and I love them! Your job is to comment each day, answering the question of the day. Each comment (1 per person, per day) from Monday to Saturday will count for 1 entry into the draw I will do on Sunday for a BIG SUMMER GIFT BASKET! I'll reveal a photo of the basket on Friday, but for now I'll just say it's full of great goodies for everyone.
Want more chances to win? Link to us on your blog, or on facebook, Telling your friends to drop your name in their comment and you'll get 1 more entry per friend! Contest closes 12:00pm Saturday July 24 2010, I will post the winner on Sunday July 25 2010, the winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize (which means let me know your mailing address etc) so I can get it in the mail before it's winter.

*Disclaimer, this contest and it's prizes are provided by Our Family Stone. Nobody gave me anything for free to run it, paid us for the space or is sending us to Europe for a month - but they should have.

So the question of the day is this: What's your love, Starbucks or Tim Hortons? And since I know you have a favourite, tell me what it is?

Summer Giveaway Day 1 - Things that Make Me Happy!

2010-07-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

I'm generally a "Glass half Full" kinda girl. I like to think that people are generally good, life doesn't suck very often and when times are tough they're eventually gonna get better. Somedays though, that's not so true. I have my moments, (approximately once a month - weeeeird) when the glass isn't just half empty it's also got a crack and is that a fly swimming in my water?! I can get myself into a funk that is nasty, stinky and rough to see out of.

And then just when I think the fog will never clear, I'll see this...

and it will make me laugh until I almost pee (again, this generally only happens once a month - bizarre! or when I'm exhausted beyond belief, which happens more like once a week). That commercial is so absolutely ridiculous I can't help but roar, "I'm on a horse" What?! The kicker is, in our house we mute commercial, generally they annoy me, Gecko's can't talk, but this one, whenever I see it I unmute. I just have to, even if Corey shakes his head. The icing on the cake for me is I love Old Spice. In fact over the past four years I've converted Corey into an Old Spice deodorant wearing, body wash using feind. He smells so darn good I can't help but love it! It's also helpful because when he comes home smelling like cow manure the slight hint of OS left over helps me keep from gagging. (Lova ya babe ) I also totally love the commercial that ran a few years ago where the lady throws a bowling ball down the hallway right into a wall. I'm pretty sure it was for BCLC but I can't find the link, it's my all time favourite!

Anyways, as facinating as I'm sure you find all this you're probably thinking - "Lame commercial, long post, when do I find out about the GIVEAWAY?!" Right now!

I got to thinking this weekend about things that make me happy. And while there are a few that make me sad, the ones that make me happy are in abundance right now. It's summer, the temperature has returned to a semi normal heat and I have a wicked awesome family. I also have great blog readers, and I thought why not share the love and make someone else happy?

Here's how it works, I'm going to post each day this week about something that makes me happy. Be warned some of my "happy thoughts" may be mushy enough to deserve pixie dust, other's might be lame but they're my happy things, and I love them! Your job is to comment each day, answering the question of the day. Each comment (1 per person, per day) from Monday to Saturday will count for 1 entry into the draw I will do on Sunday for a BIG SUMMER GIFT BASKET! I'll reveal a photo of the basket on Friday, but for now I'll just say it's full of great goodies for everyone.

Want more chances to win? Link to us on your blog, or on facebook, Telling your friends to drop your name in their comment and you'll get 1 more entry per friend! Contest closes 12:00pm Saturday July 24 2010, I will post the winner on Sunday July 25 2010, the winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize (which means let me know your mailing address etc) so I can get it in the mail before it's winter.

*Disclaimer, this contest and it's prizes are provided by Our Family Stone. Nobody gave me anything for free to run it, paid us for the space or is sending us to Europe for a month - but they should have.
So that being said, here's the first question:

Tell me what your favourite commercial is and why? Does it make you happy, sad, silly, or just roll your eyes dramatically.

When Office Girls Play Hookie

2010-07-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes during the summer months, having to work sucks! After the fall and winter we had with work, I'm ever grateful for the work that both Corey and I have, and this is not a post complaining about the actual process of working. But some days, when the sun is shining and the girls are restless having to work is hard. I feel like an ogre, locking them up in the office dungeon of torture. Other days though, summer work rocks.

Photo courtesy of Grammy

Take for instance, last week when the temperatures were in the bazillions, causing me to sweat in place that deodorant doesn't even go, we got to go to work each day in an office complete with cool drinks, toys for the girls and AIR CONDITIONING! We don't have an air conditioner at home so being in the office was a little reprieve. It made going home a little harder, but we persevered.

Audrey LOVES having her back rubbed/scratched and was melting yesterday

Photos Courtesy of Grammy

Then there's this week, yesterday actually. The weather is nice, we were supposed to be in the office, basking in the coolness, but we weren't. Instead, the office was shut down, we loaded into the van and the boss (notice I did not say my boss) aka. Grammy took us to Harrison Hot Springs for the day to enjoy their Festival of the Arts Children's Day. It was pretty sweet!

We used to go the Children's Day in Harrison when we were kids, I have fond memories of crafts created, treats enjoyed and fun in the sun. It was neat yesterday to share those memories with the girls and watch as they learned to create, splashed in the water and had a great time.

Showing off her Door hanger

Sometimes, having to work means that the kids and I miss out on adventures like that. While my Mom is far from a slave driver (contrary to what the diary from when I was 16 might say), and would happily give us time off for different events, it isn't possible all the time. I do real work there, I get paid to be productive and as is such, I need to produce (work, not children). Most times it doesn't really bother me, we make up for it on the days I don't work and the weekends when Corey's home to enjoy it with us. Every so often though, it makes me sad. Yesterday, would have been one of those days had my own "Super Mom" not stepped in.

It was her official decision (supported by Papa, who would pretty much dump mud over my head if my kids asked him too, so much for having him wrapped around my finger...) to close the office down for a summer staff party. I argued, the pile of papers on my desk was and still is 6 miles high and I had work to do. She argued she was the boss and the papers would wait. I'm glad they will and did, because yesterday was well worth doing! We had a blast!

Thanks Boss, we love ya!

From the Soapbox - Sun Safety!

2010-07-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

With summer finally upon us I figure it's about time to drag out my trusty, dusty old friend - soapbox. Yes, you know the one, it's a No Name Brand box of the suds (because they're so seriously nasty that I can't possibly use them on clothes so I'll use them to stand upon) that has housed many a rant over the years.

Today's laundry - the necessity of Sun Safety! Wait! Before you go, read on, I've got some stuff I need to say and you, the people (or at least the people who are reading) need to hear it. Because as beautiful and warm and lovely as this sun is, it's also damaging, nasty and can, if not properly defended against, take your life.

While I'm all about being outside, getting fresh air and Vitamin D, I am also a very large advocate of being safe while doing it. And not just for your kids, I see so many people (myself included from time to time) that put all the effort possible into protecting their children and then completely neglect themselves. Newsflash: If you're not here, then what? They need you as badly as you need them. So be the adult, teach them to take care of themselves by taking care of you!

Now, I've never been a sun worshiper, while I covet the tans of others, I only ever turn tomato red. And when the red, peeling skin disappears I turn back into a white sheet. A dirty white sheet, because more and more freckles crop up. So to defend against those freckles and those rays I've always worn sunscreen. As have my children and does my husband now that ~~he has me to nag the crap out of him~~ he has a ready supply.

You want that tan too? You're a lucky person who can acheive it? Good for you! Just please do it through a protective layer of sunscreen. While any tan is actually the result of skin damage, any protection is better than none, and I don't know a soul alive, sunscreen or not who won't get a bit of colour, even when properly applying after 8 hours outside. Check out why you need it so much!

- You'll prevent a burn - while we all know burns bring pain and can, if sever enough cause skin to peel and heat stroke, did you know that burns also bring you one step closer to wrinkles? Wanna look 65 at 25 go for it, but don't say I didn't warn you when people ask how old your grandchildren are and you have to explain they are your children, and NO it was not miraculous conception
- You keep out the UVA and UVB rays, they aren't just a bunch of letters, those rays can cause cancer, more skin damage, moles, freckles and the above mentioned burns
- It smells really good (most times) and people will want to sit close to you. This can also be a negative, if the person who wants to sit next to you does not smell so good and can't stop sniffing your shoulder
- Please don't use tanning oils!!!! They are just a magnet for those damaging rays and I've learned that any SPF less than 15 is useless! It's only a gimic, you're not being protected from anything.
- Sunscreen needs to be applied in a thick (not blanketing but thick) layer to do it's job. Make sure you've covered everywhere, and rub it in!

Something else you should know, while many types of skin cancer can be removed and people can carry on with their normal lives, there are other kinds that spread. They spread beneath the skin to a persons organs and can ultimately result in a person's death. That's kinda serious ya know.

When you're putting on that sunscreen remember to do a couple of things - check the expiration date. This stuff does expire and once it does, it's effectiveness is decreased dramatically. Put it on 15 minutes before you need it to work and before you hit the water. I find around here since I'm kinda forgetful that I put it on in the morning after I brush the kids teeth. That way it's routine, and often Beth reminds me. If you're going to be out a lot or go out hours after applying note that sunscreen only does it's job for about 2 hours and you need to reapply. Another tip, I filled a travel bottle of it and put it into a zipper bag to keep in the van so I don't have to remember to pack the whole thing everytime. And also, if you or your kidlets have a skin allergy I suggest a patch test before you need it to work, this I've learned only because poor Bethany broke out to a bazillion kinds of sunscreen before I found one that didn't cause her pain.

Think I'm done? Not so much.

Don't forget a hat, the tops of our heads while covered with hair can get burned too and for those of us with long hair it's impossible to cover your head with sunscreen. So cover it up, because a dangerous mole or spot is very rarely seen on the head.

And, if that's all not enough don't forget to check your weather network or news' UV index rating for each day. While sunscreen and hats can help prevent sun damage they don't stop it. There are days when the rays are just particularly dangerous and staying in the shade or out of the sun during the peak of the day might be the best bet.

Something that I just recently learned is that your protection needs to extend to your eyes, year round. So those sexy sunglasses, and those bug glasses (that I might have once made fun of on FB) are necessary, so don them with pride! And do all your buzzzzzing around.

Finally, everyone needs to be aware of any moles or beauty marks on your body. Do a google search of how to know a good mole from a bad one. They should have even boarders, not change texture (if they're raised they shouldn't become flakey, if they're flat they should become raised etc) or size, any differences should be checked out by a doctor. Don't forget your ears, neck and back too - get a friend or spouse to give you a once over every few months. Find a spot you're worried about? Make a doctor's appointment, circle the spot the day of the appointment if you can't see it to show your doctor and be persistant. It's not a big deal to have them removed and off is safer than on. Just ask Corey, he's had 5 removed so far and while none showed up cancerous they could have, and we'd have caught them right away.

I know you hear it everywhere, but I'm concerned. A friend of ours died from skin cancer related cancers and while I don't know that hers was caused by sun exposure, it could have been. I don't want to take that chance for me, for my kids or for you. I used to help run the sun clinic back in the day at one of my drugstores and it was amazing the things you learn. Please note that I'm certainly not an authority and all of the information I've given you can be found on google, and there's so much more to say. But this, at the least will get you thinking.

The best I can say is be prepared, do your homework and be safe. Enjoy this sunshine and all the fun that can come with it!

It's a Wobbling Giveaway!

2010-07-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

Remember that buddy I went to see? You know the one who had her paintings in the Art in the Park in Kamloops? Come on, I know the sun is shining and you've only been half paying attention but work with me here....the one from the last post.

Yes! That one, we'll she's up to something, and it's something good! She's giving away two of her paintings! Can you say, yeehaw? YEEHAW!

And if you want to win it's kinda easy (although to be completely honest I'd like you to win 1 and ME to win 1), all you have to do is go over HERE to her blog and comment on the post, mentioning that you saw it here. That way, you'll get an entry to win and so will I. Then if you want to win again, snag a buddy of yours, give them her link (or mine) and they can comment, mentioning you. It's that easy!

You need 15 minutes to let the new layer of sunscreen soak in so why not? Go on over, leave a comment and maybe win a prize! And then, keep watch over here, we've got a giveaway coming soon!

C-eh-N-eh-D-eh Day!

2010-07-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

Canada Day for us brought about a lovely day. Oh, the weather was kinda cloudy, it feels more like spring than summer but it didn't rain, we had a great time and we live in a pretty awesome country! On a whim Thursday morning, we all packed into the van and made the 3 hour trip up to Kamloops for the day. My dear friend Cindy (the work is fantastic, check out her WEBSITE) was participating in a city wide Art Show in Kamloops and we wanted to surprise her! It was a multipurpose trip - we wanted to see the art work, go on an adventure with the girls and most importantly I wanted to meet her new, sweet baby girl Elanie!

Lots of fun was had by all. Cindy and Andres were surprised, as was the plan and Elanie is beautiful. We also had a fantastic time looking at all the other exhibits and playing outside with our girls. Bethany and Audrey even received a very special gift from their Daddy, that you'll see on their wrists in some of the photos. As we drove out of Kamloops (Corey and I had been trying desperately to think of a way to keep to very tired kids from falling asleep at 6pm) the girls started to laugh and with very little effort from the adults in the vehicle, those two kids laughed all the way to Merritt. It's amazing what the sound of your children's laughter can do for your soul. The drive was safe and the day was good!

Now, on to another busy weekend! To all my Canadian Readers - Happy Belated Canada Day and to those friends in the U.S of A - Happy Fourth of July!

Driving Ms. Mommy

2010-06-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure when it happened, in fact it kinda came on something like the stomach flu - fast and furious and kinda leaves you heaving. I've tried to control it, I've tried biting my tongue, listening to music and attempting sleep, but nothing helps. It's here and I don't for see this plague ending anytime soon.

I'm talking about driving. Not the act of driving but rather the behaviour and habits that come with it, and not just my habits, but also the habits of others. Getting my license wasn't on the top of my to do list back when I was 16. I had never really excelled at those arcade (for you Wii generation an arcade is a place where they used to house video games of a large scale, big and boxy ones. You could drive a car that you sat in, there were wires on most of the controls and quarters were your best friend. Well, they were unless they were weighing down your jeans pocket making you look like you had one supersized thigh) driving games, I usually crashed and burned in the first 45 seconds and so I was convinced that I was going to be as successful in real life.

Turns out, driving in the real world is nothing like the virtual world and after mastering the art of braking (the first time my Mom told me to gently "tap" the brakes, I put everything in the back of the van pretty near through the windshield, including her Karate bow and a cup of coffee, it was awesome), I actually learned to enjoy it.

I was never a speed demon, my first car refused to go about 110 km/h without shaking like a chocoholic needing a fix and after that I just decided that there was a speed limit for a reason.  I didn't drive exactly the speed limit mind you, earning my first speeding ticket, on my way to a very important hockey game (if you miss the singing of "Oh Canada" you might as well stick your head in the sand, and go home.) it was an accidental thing, and the cop was a total bag - because this is a "G" rated blog I won't even use the strike feature to tell you waht I really think of her. I missed my song, the night got worse from there and I don't want to talk about it.  Anyway....I never considered myself a bad driver, in fact I'd have, for the most part considered myself relatively ok at it.

As a passenger, I thought I pretty much rocked.  Unless we were pushing excess speed I never said anything to the driver about their speed at least, I didn't bark orders, I did not put my foot through the floor while "driving" along and I was always prepared to change the CD should the music switch to ~~Brittney Spears~~ something unpleasant.  I was and still am very confident in Corey's ability to drive and can remember very clearly, on the weekend we got engaged looking at him thinking, "I'd be happy if he could be driving for the rest of my life..." Awww, sigh, GAG!

Then, here comes the puke - my children were born. All of a sudden, I'm afraid, I'm cautious, I don't drive if there is a threat of snow in the Arctic - in August because then a flake may travel down and land on the road next to the one I'm driving on in Chilliwack and all hell would break loose, and if my children are in the vehicle you will notice that at the end of a journey the floor on the passenger side of your vehicle will have a perfect imprint of my foot.

You see, it's not just me any more. It's not just Corey and I, it's the two tiny beings for whom I breath. And not only that, even when they aren't in the vehicle, the fear comes because you see, while I breath for them, I know they breath because of me. They need me, they need Corey and we need them, it's how this game works and the fear of losing them is sometimes overwhelming.

So I do what every loving and ~~slightly overprotective~~ protective mother does, I keep care of my young. I nag my husband, who is fantastic and doesn't usually complain - in my defense there are a few times where he so deserved it, most of them not so much. I prefer to drive, I check and double check your speedo (the one with your vehicle speed, not the one you sport on a Mexican beach causing people to look away and blush or laugh...), I'll point out dangers and speed limits and I fight sleep off at every possible opprotunity, so I can protect my kids.

The funny thing is, I'm not actually in control. I know and believe that God is in control, of our every breath and our every journey, but I so don't always like to roll with it. See, I'm a control freak, I won't even strike that for a humour filled moment, it's kinda true. I always feel the need to be in control or have someone else in control that I trust. I like organization, structure and plans. In my heart of hearts I know that my children do not belong to me but to the One who gave them to me, but I will never feel any less responsible for them. I'm working on those issues, and while I'm doing better and better with it, I can't always stop the reactions. I used to tell my mom, when she'd worry about me on the road, "Mom, God is in control if he wants something to happen to me it'll happen when I'm driving or when I'm sitting down eating a burger. When His time is right, it's just right." she didn't always respond the way a 17 year old would want.

And now, neither do I. I know my 17 year old self is right, but my 26 year old heart doesn't feel it. If anything, my 26 year old heart would like to go back and give my 17 year old attitude a swift kick in the hiney but that's not happening anytime soon. The best I can do is try to rationalize the two of them ( it's like playing referee between a 3 year old and a 1 year old, something I'm getting way too good at), and come to some kind of happy medium. I still prefer Corey to drive, he's better at it than I am, I know that, I just want to have dual controls.

I wonder sometimes if it's just me, I don't think it is but maybe I'm the only one not exerting the excellent control I have. And I also wonder if it'll ever change, if my heart will once again resume residence in my chest, rather than my throat and if I'll ever get back to blind trust of the driver of a vehicle.  I don't know, and for now, I don't really care. I'm ok with me, like this, because if it helps, even once to keep my babies safe it's worth it.

What kind of passenger are you? Would you rather be riding or driving? Do you put your foot through the floor, or snooze the whole way?

Who knew kids like camping too?

2010-06-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend marked a new monument in our family. Aside from being Father's Day, something special that has never happened before, happened. It was something that was difficult for me to let happen, but something that ultimately turned out to be fantastic.

Corey took Bethany camping. Alone. Well, not totally alone, his boss organized a father/kids camping trip and Corey and Bethany attended. The big thing is, Bethany has never gone anywhere over night without me. She's never been camping period and it was a new experience for us all.

See, the tarp doesn't look too bad. Does it?

We had asked her about a month ago if she'd like to go camping with Daddy. He had the papers and we needed to know if signing them up was a good thing, or if the idea of being away from home and mommy for a night was going to be too much. She wanted to go and excited doesn't even begin to explain how she felt about it. For the next 4 weeks everyday she could be heard asking her Dad (or anyone else who'd listen) "Tell me a story about camping please? What will we do there?" And tell her we did, until we were blue in the face and most times we'd end with "You'll have to wait and see I don't know what else" Mean while we were thinking "I can't tell you anything else about camping because my brain is burnt kinda like how a mashmellow gets fried after being in the fire too long and you'd know that because we've talk about everything and I have nothing else to say. breath I feel like a scratched cd stuck on the camping song, so ENOUGH ALREADY!"

Anyways, the day finally came and after spending all day packing and buying tarps (aside: Did you know there are like 30 billion kinds of tarps at Crappy Tire and that there is generally nobody useful there to tell a person what the right kind of tarp is? And did you know that I know nothing about tarps but everything about being frugal so I bought the ones that seemed the best quality for a really good price? And that might not have been the best idea?). I was also getting Audrey ready for a sleepover at Grammy's because I was taking a very dear friend of mine out for a birthday dinner.

Having her special dinner treat.

Finally the time came for me to leave to drop AJ off and with mix feelings and the urge to cry I kissed my big girl goodbye. She hugged me, she kissed me and then she took of to watch one final show before they had to go. Corey smiled, said they'd be fine and that was it.

Dinner was good, but I must say I was distracted by the worry that something would be wrong. I got the odd text saying things were fine but still I worried. I've got that down to a science. Anyways, I came home, to an empty house, which was another first. It's been over 4 years since I've spent even one night completely alone anywhere. And while being able to play my music loud and have a bath all by myself, was awesome. I was kind of lonely. I was also kinda bummed, I had stopped at Starbucks to buy myself an after dinner treat of a tea and a lemon loaf to have in the tub. Being that clumsy is my middle name I dropped the loaf into the tub with me and ruined it. I thought about drying it out....but didn't.

Morning came quickly and I was surprised my phone hadn't rung. I called Corey and the news was fantastic, they'd had a blast! Bethany hadn't even gone to bed until almost 10pm and had slept all night. And not only that, in my hurry to pack I forgot to include nighttime pull-ups and she slept all night, in panties and was Dry!!!! I asked Cor, how she'd done and he said, "The first thing she said when she woke up was, "Dad, can we stay another night?" (Um, No! Mommy can't take it.) and she made some awesome friends. She loved playing with the kids..."

I'm not so sure how I feel about this...but they sure did have fun playing together

Saturday was excellent because the company has also arranged for the rest of the families to come out and have a big group picnic at Kawkawa Lake in Hope. Now if you know Hope, and I kinda do, you know that Kawkawa lake, while pretty has a reputation for these pests. They are a protected species that I have to admit I don't think need to be quite so heavily protected, they are the great and the gross Canadian Geese. They poop everywhere and it's disgusting, and Kawkawa lake beach was no exception. Had I known in advance they'd planned to go there, I'd have probably discouraged it but alas I didn't so we dealt with it.

They might look pretty, but it's totally a disguise

It was a lovely afternoon, complete with a rainless thunderstorm and we had a blast. It was nice to meet the people who Corey works with and to thank them for making him so happy. This job is truly a blessing and so are the people.

After having about 5 gianourmous meltdowns we decided to head home, we changed two kidlets into their pj's because I knew they'd never make it home awake, and headed off. Sure enough not even 15 minutes out of hope Audrey was out and 10 minutes later Bethany was out. We got home, and the rest is routine.

It was so awesome seeing how happy Bethany was, but what took the cake for me was Corey's face. It was parental bliss (and exhaustion) for him. He's waited to start doing things like this with his girls and this was just the beginning. I think there are already thoughts and plans for more trips brewing. Which is fine with me, while I don't mind camping, I certainly do not feel left out getting to stay at home with a bathroom, and a shower and screens to keep out the mosquitos.

It was a lovely weekend and an even better adventure! And I'm so glad they went.

Happy Weekend everyone! What are you planning to do? Is the sun shining where you are?

Audrey Antics

2010-06-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Change seems to be the name of the game around her for Little Ms. Audrey. She's firing out minute and monumental changes left, right and centre. Sometimes I think it's happening because that's the natural progression of things blah, blah, blah and other times I think she's doing it on purpose to throw her poor mother for a loop.

She's finally walking full time, at 17 months old. It was so different for us from Bethany (while I don't compare them at everything, Bethany is our baby growing scale on which we measure Audrey and every other baby we meet. Although Audrey's now being added to the scale). B walked just shortly after her 1st, her wobbly steps unsure but once she started she didn't really go back to crawling. Audrey's had the ability to walk for about 2.5 months, and would walk anywhere holding your hand, would scale the couches and if prompted would walk between two people. But when it came right down to motoring, she would only crawl and it was driving me nuts! She was grumpy, she couldn't carry things with her and would subsequently wack herself in the head with them as she tried to crawl, she wasn't keeping up to her big sister and that was not ok in her books, but as much as I tried to tell her "Walk already and STOP CRYING" she didn't listen. Until about 2 weeks ago, she got up one morning and after her morning bottle, stood up out of her chair and walked over to give me her empty (this was a bottle of milk, not beer, in case you were wondering about the empties. We soooo do not give the kids alcohol until after noon.) I just about fell off the chair. From there she's been walking and running with purpose. She still has a little tumble from time to time but for the most part she's got this walking gig down. Yay!

On another scale, she's also decided it would be sweet to change up her eating habits. This, for most families is a good thing, around these parts not so much. See, AJ has always been my great eater, she'd eat any and everything, loving whatever I put in front of her and totally content to chow on anything her big sister did - aside from plain chedder cheese, she's loathed that stuff since forever. And maybe it's because I've ~~bragged~~ shared with our friends once or twice, that she's a good eater or maybe it's because my children's only mission in life is to make me gray (I totally found a gray the other day, gah!) but she's decided to get picky. Sometimes she'll eat her old favorites, and other times, like the night before last, she'll pick up her full plate and try to hurl it at the head of one of her parents. It was awesome and a stinkin' good thing Mommy's quick on her feet and snagged that sucka. I'm sure we'll survive, we've lived through all of Bethany's pickiness so far, I was just enjoying one kid I didn't have to be creative with or make up a special name for what she's consuming.

Audrey with her very bestest friend - Teddy.

Which brings me to her 'Tude. All I can say is, What the heck! Where did that COME FROM?!!! One minute she's sweet and is rubbing my back or kissing the love of her life - Teddy and then next thing you know she's freakin' out. Her moods swing like the wind, but what throws me for the biggest loop is her absolute stubbornness. I can put her in time out, say no and stand on my head and if she wants to keep doing something she'll keep trying to do it, in fact she'll usually look me in the eye, laugh and then carry on. It usually takes 400 times of a consequence and a time out for Mommy before we actually accomplish victory and she doesn't do it again. By then I'm exhausted and ready for bed, she however is energized and ready to head for something else she shouldn't do. It's a spirit that while somedays makes me want to go insane, I also don't want to destroy. As my Mother so often reminds me, it's that strong will (that she may have inherited from her ~~insanely~~ slightly stubborn Momma) that will protect her in moments of pear pressure, will help her acheive whatever she sets her mind to and will allow her to truly know who she is inside. But for now, it's what is going to drive me completly mental as our personalities clash heads and I try to find a way to prevent her from being a terrible child.

And if all those changes aren't enough, her vocabulary is changing on a daily basis. She's added new words and phrases that completely knock me off my feet. A few of my favourites include "Dane-ga" for danger, "diap- ter" for diaper and "Rah-rah" for Sarah. Listening to her chatter and talk is so sweet, it makes me melt. Then there is the vocab that comes from listening to her big sister, she'll proudly say "I Do!" after anything Bethany says that too - eg, "Who wants a Bath?" B: "I Do!" AJ:"I Do" and then we head to the bath and Audrey starts saying "Nooooo!" mmmhmmm. It's cute and for the most part Bethany loves it. There are moments when I'm pretty sure Bethany thinks to herself "This kid is driving me nuts, can't I just do it By MySELF?!" but she usually keeps it to herself and lets Audrey stay on her heels.

Audrey Antics from Ashley Stone on Vimeo.

This copy cat stuff is also what brings me to the greatest and funniest developement yet. Peeing on the potty. That's right, Audrey is not only peeing on the potty but she's announcing that she needs to "PEEE!" It's so cute, watching this sweet little girl run, down the hall hollering "Mama! Peeee! Mama! PEE!" The first time I followed her in and humoring her I put her on the potty. Not 5 seconds later she peed. I, almost fell over. It's happened many times over and is a common occurance during the day. However, there are more times that she get's on there and doesn't go. She grins and then gets up, in all her bare bum glory and takes off. It started out that she'd walk to her room shouting "Diap-ter! Diap-ter!" but no she just runs. I've discovered that the desire to pee has been trumped by the desire to be naked. And while, that may sound cute to you, for a mommy who actually wants her children to be clothed and presentable in public it's a slight problem. But problem or not, I still end up following her giggling - you would too, if you could only see her.

She's my love, she's my Rosebud and my pal. She's totally her Daddy and her Papa's girl, when they are around she generally wants nothing to do with the rest of us. But she does love to garden with Grammy (even if she REFUSES to say Grammy, smiling and saying "Papa" everytime she's asked to say "Grammy") and will only cuddle Mommy to sleep at night. She's strong willed and sweet and I'm truly looking forward to seeing and loving the woman she'll grow into!

Splurge Vs. Save

2010-06-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

Monday nights around these parts are my grocery night. Each week, I spend mondays recouping from the weekend, playing with the kids because it's my day off and writing a list. We go throught the cupboards, we look at recipes that I plan to try and I chronicle the needs and wants in my good, ol' buddy - Grocery book. I then load into the Mom-mobile and zip from place to place trying to get it all done in under 2 hours.

Grocery book is how I survive the bazillion places I need to go on Monday nights. See, I'm a frugal shopper, sometimes I'm down right cheap. Necessity and my need to have control over everything possible has taught me to be very cautious with what I spend our money on. Each Friday when the newspapers arrive I sit down with GB (Grocery Book) and make note of which stores are offering sales that may pertain to Monday's list and clip/order any applicable coupons. Then after the compolation of monday's list I'll compare to the sales and mark down where to go to get my deals. By keeping it all in a book I don't lose my list, I don't forget it at home and I can check back. I can look back on the list from the previous week and see what I didn't get or what I did that I don't remember buying (let's face it people, my memory is not what it used to be), it's been a life saver.

It might sound tedious but in fact it's saved us a bundle over the years. I look at sales and coupons as someone handing me cash. Let's say for instance diapers (of whom offer tons of coupons and rewards if you check online) have a sale on, (which Huggies, Pampers and the pull ups of each brand are on sale at one of three places each and every single week - true story) and you also have a $4 off coupon, which I did this week and they are on your shopping list, you are saving $9 on one item. If you chose to just buy it where it's convenient and don't use a coupon because it makes you uncomfortable, it's time consuming or I don't know why, you are taking $9 and putting it into the garbage can. If you multiply that $9 by 2 times a month by 12 months, you save yourself $216 a year. It all adds up in the long run. The big kicker is to remember to only buy what you need. A sale is only as good as what you need that week. If you already have 6 months worth of tissue paper at home spending the money on them now, even if it's a sale doesn't get you anywhere. All you're doing is spending money to store a product, instead of putting it towards something you need right away or better yet, popping it into a savings account. Because remember, if something goes on sale once, it'll happen again.

I'm one of those people who buy it on sale, buy the No Name brand, or the one that's cheaper to save what I can. Most of the time. There are a few areas I've learned not to cheap out. Working in retail for as long as I did, I learned that many store brands are actually manufactured by the same places as the National Brand and by buying the store brand you're not paying for advertising. Many but not all, and while most things you don't notice the difference somethings you absolutely do.

And while I'm totally all about getting a deal, I also want a good bang for my buck and I want what I purchase to be the quality I need it to be. And so I've compiled my Splurge vs. Save list, you know the things I'm totally happy to dish the dough for and the ones I'm not...

Shampoo - Splurge While I'm not a fan of spending $60 a bottle on shampoo every month, I do search for a good deal and purchase some good suds for my locks. I have long, healthy hair and after years of not being able to afford the good stuff and suffering through the junk, I splurge on some serious hair care. Lucky for me I'm as frugal under the faucet as I am in the grocery aisle and I can make it last a very, very long time.

Mustard - Save I can't tell the difference between French's or cheapo so I vote cheapo. I never just sit down to a spoon full of the yellow stuff, it's always in something so why worry save a little, I say.

Feta Cheese - Splurge Once a week as my treat to me I make a greek salad and scarf most if not all of it. I've had to forfit so many of my food loves due to the corn allergy, that I hang on really tight to the treats I still can have. And I've tried the cheaper Feta, the store brand and the deli kind, nothing beats my favourite name brand, nothing!

Canned Tomatoes - Save My mom and I can tons and tons of tomatoes each summer but inevitably by March we are out. And since, I'm a tomato lover, it is necessary to re-stock my pantry with more. I've tried the National Brand and the Western Family ones and have made a shocking discovery, WF is superior. It's flavour is better, it's quality is nicer and I don't have to pick through tons of tomato core pieces.

Body Wash - Splurge This is body wash for Corey. Now I used to be of the school "Bar soap is fine" WRONG. After many trials, it is worth buying the good stuff for how clean he gets/feel and how simply sexy the boy smells when he comes out of the shower. Mmmmm, I'm not sure who the splurge is really for him or me.

Diabetic Chocolate - Splurge "What?!" you ask, who's diabetic. Nobody, the thing is we have consitpation issues around here with the girls and a chunk of diabetic chocolate works wonders. It's safe and has no medicine in it, but the fructose is a natural laxative and helps things get moving. I tried cheap drugstore chocolate and it tastes like chalk so I splurge and get the Purdy's Chocolate. You can't tell it's diabetic and because they both only need a small amount it lasts a long, long time.

Ketchup - Save This is one of those things where I really don`t notice a difference so I go with whatever is on sale. This time of year Heinz is usually on sale somewhere and I`ll chose name brand first if it`s a deal, but when it`s not I`m totally fine with the no name brand.

The list could go on and on, but you get the drift. Those things aside, I watch for sales on specialty kids clothes, shop online and do my best to save as much as possible without sacrificing quality. It's what works for me and it's been a saving grace when our belts have been tight.

What's your Splurge item? What one thing do you buy the best of the best regardless of price because to you it's a necessity? And for that matter, where do you save? What tricks do you have up your sleeve to save a little extra in the pocket book?

K-Town Graduation

2010-06-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

Last week today we were on the road, on the road to Kelowna. It had been a little over 6 months since we'd been back to K-town and the trip was long over due. As we drove through the mountains we lamented at the changes that have taken place since the last time we went on through. Not changes to the road or to the towns (although Merritt did get a Starbucks and that was cause for a flutter in my heart, Starbuck, sigh!), but more that the changes in our girls.

We took the kids back to our old beach. The swing that Bethany is on is the very first swing she ever road in.

Bethany was full of questions and ideas - telling us about when she's going to climb to the top of the mountain to build a "toe-man" and throw "toe-balls". Audrey just kept staring out the windows, barking at every cow we passed. She's excellent at her animal noises but is used to black and white cows. Since the majority of the ones we passed on the road to Kelowna were brown she thought they were very large dogs. Honest mistake.

This trip was a chance for us to celebrate as a whole family. Travis, Corey's younger brother graduated! When I met Travis he was a little kid and while time has gone on and he's sprouted a few dozen inches, he's also grown into a great man. He's sweet and kind with our kids, he loves his family and he's got courage (sometimes masked as insanity) coming out the ears.

I won't regail the weekend detail for detail but it was a lovely time. We visited with Uncle Scott, Auntie Chelsea and Chloe, Grandma and Grandpa Kimmie, Grandpa Bert and stayed with Great Grandma and Grandpa Hobbs - always a treat.

The weekend went well, inspite of a stupidly bumpy "gravel road" (it was like boulder city and was bumpy enough that my jeans added a new bruise to my already black and blue belly) and fun was had by everyone, especially our girls.

Corey's Mom took the following two shots (thanks for emailing them Chelsea) and I of course played around a little to adjust the temperature and lighting. I can't decide which of each I like better, let me know what you think!

Picture 1 or Picture 2

I know posts around here have been few and far between but hang in there, next week holds more posting promise. Tonight Corey and Bethany leave on their solo camping trip (gasp!) and I'm sure there will be stories and photos to share. But for today, join me in Congratulating Travis on a job well done and tell me, what are you doing this weekend?

The Cheese Stands Alone

2010-06-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes as a parent I feel like a ship alone in the night. As the primary disciplinarian, the day to day caregiver and chief wiper (I wipe noses, bums and counters ya'll) I feel like I'm the only one on this journey called parenthood. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about Corey, he helps when he's home, he loves and cares for our kids when he can but the reality of our life is, I'm generally the one home with the kids.

And it's not just in parenting the kids that I feel alone, it's sometimes in the choices I make as a parent that leave me feeling as such. It's a rude awakening when you realize there is no such "Bible of Babies" to guide you through this journey, just prayer, luck and a good gut instinct.

I was having a moment a few weeks ago that prompted me to write THIS post. Mamapedia has picked it up and you can go over HERE to read it. Take a gander and then let me know what you think, either here or there.

The big question is, do you, as a parent feel as though sometimes you are the smelly cheese alone in the room?

It's a Pain in the Gut

2010-06-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

Hellooo out there, is anyone still here? Sorry I've been MIA for so long, life has been a little busy around here. Actually, it's been a little painful.

After waiting, and waiting and waiting for over a year I finally got a date! Not the kind of date that includes a good dinner (Corey manages those a few times a year) but the kind of date that includes a sexy white and blue gown, drugs and sleeping in a strange bed. Yes folks that's right, I got my laparoscopy date! Not only did I get it, I've had it and it's over.

Since getting pregnant with Bethany and having so much trouble with my belly pains we've been wondering. Curious as to what's happening in there, and wondering what to do about it. After Audrey was born those pains didn't go away and the problems with my physical health mounted. I saw a specialist a year ago and it was decided that the only thing left to do was to go in and take a look, at which time we were going to do a tubal ligation (tie those bad boys), which we've since changed our mind on. It's a sensitive subject and I'll broach that one later, when I know what to say.

Anyways, I've spent the last week and bit having doctor's appointments, letting a lady posing as a lab tech draw enough blood to keep a family of vampires satisfied for a month and standing on a hospital scale, because gosh darn it don't I want to share my weight with the world - not! The one good part about the scale experience is they also measured my height and it was proven that Corey was wrong and I'm still a solid 5'8" and NOT SHRINKING! Wahoo!

I also met with the anesthetist because with my Dextrocardia they always want to have a visit. See the whole heart on the other side thing throws them off. He was a nice man, older and somewhat shy. Poor guy, we talked about my drug allergies, my surgery and my heart being on the right. He then needed to listen to said heart and proceeded to put the stethoscope on the left side. This isn't all that unusual for me as they need to listen to both sides and often do that to people with "normal" heart position. However, he must've forgotten that the sounds would be less because of my dextrocardia and was utterly confused. He frowned a few times and then looked at his paper, when it dawned on him what the problem was, he shook his head and moved the scope. I kept in a laugh and he carried on. Next he announced that he was going to listen to my lungs to make sure they were clear for the surgery. He placed the stethoscope on my chest, bordering on the side of my breast. I was wearing a very padded bra that day (hello, a girl can at least pretend she's got something, thankyouverymuch) and I guess he couldn't hear anything because he frowned again, switched to the same sort of position on the other side and looked down right perplexed. After another second it once again dawned on him, that yes I was breathing and maybe it was the stethoscope position, so red faced he moved it and carried on. I had to bite my tongue to not burst out laughing. The poor guy.

Anyways, last Friday, I checked into the hospital, drank a really nasty liquid to dry out my throat (dude it tasted like sucking on a sour candy and then chasing it with the water from an algae ridden fish tank) put on my sexy gown and waited. Corey held my hand and kept me company for 1.5 hours as we waited and then patiently waited for me as they took me in.

I woke up with a very, very painful abdomen, a little loopy and ready to puke. After a few hours of in and out, some good medicine for both the pain and the pukes, I was transferred back to day care ready to go home. They checked my bandages, gave me some info and sent us on our way. No time to waste, while they were very nice it was very clear they wanted the space. Good thing for them I wanted to leave too! I'd been fasting since the night before and I was 5pm, I wanted something in my gut! All I know is that according to the recovery room nurse, they "severed scar tissue". Basically, I am assuming that what they found when they got in there is what my doctor suspected from the start, that I was full of scar tissue and it had attached itself to my insides and bowel.

While I am so very grateful that it's over and that they finally have some kind of an answer for me. I also feel at a loss. I don't really know what happened, and I am so very much more sore than I expected. The doctor had said a day or two and I'd be back to normal. We're 4 days out and I still feel horrible. I'm getting better but I still can't pick up Audrey and caring for the girls on my own isn't an option. My belly hurts and has some ugly bruising, I feel sort of blind sided. I'm the kind of girl who emotionally prepares for things, I'm a planner and I like to know what's going to happen and when. Now, I understand that life and God don't work on my schedule but that doesn't mean I don't want them too.

I'm also not exactly patient so waiting to heal, isn't really something I'm thrilled about. I just want to get back to life as we know it, for me and for my family. But as per usual, things aren't going my way and I have to suck it up. And once again, we are so very grateful for my Mom and Dad. They've been a huge help with the kids, while I've been recovering and I don't know what we'd do without them.

So, if there are a few less posts here for another day or two please forgive me. It's taken more out of me than I expected, but rest assured I'll be back soon, I've got another article being published this weekend and when I return I might just bring a wicked awesome contest with me :)

But in the meantime, if you're still around and you've made it to the end of this post, please leave a comment starved girl a message or two. Tell me how life is where you are, or if you've had an "interesting" medical experience feel free to share, heck you can even tell me what you're having for dinner, just please, let me know you're here!

Gah! I am my Mother!

2010-05-25T14:53:00.001-07:00

I don't think anyone realizes it's happening, it isn't something we do by choice or out of desire, it's just yet another part of the parcel. I've concluded that while it comes on gradually, the realization of this change causes you to feel slightly breathless and overwhelmed. Then, once you've regained consciousness, you are left with this mix of emotions: sadness, shame, frustration, confusion and even a little bit of happiness linger as you carry on with your day.

Now, if you didn't read the title of this here post, I'm sure you are now completely and utterly confused. If you did read it, however, you're probably doing one of two things, you're either smiling and nodding with understanding, or you're flat out splitting a gut laughing because you've been caught and the reality of it is kinda funny. Heck, maybe you're even doing both.

With all the things that came with becoming a mother, I had no idea, being my mother was one of them. Now, don't get me wrong, I have a fantastic mom. She's loved and nurtured, cared for and disciplined me for the best and worst parts of 26 years. She's put up with and enjoyed me (or so I tell myself) and she's done her best to allow me to be me in each stage of my life. But there are somethings, especially from the eras in which discipline needed to be given with a little more regularity and force than it does now, that I swore I'd never do.

While she's a great Mom, there are things she did that as I grew up I said I wouldn't do to my children. Many of those proclamations came after a large plate of "Say, Yes Mom!" was served up with a glass of "Don't say I'll do it later, because you won't, DO IT NOW!" and I was over full and spewed forth "I'll NEVER make my children say, "Yes Mom". It's ridiculous and unnecessary and insulting".

Ahem, may I take that back?

Like many women, when I thought of being a mother, I thought of the many things I'd love to do with my children that my mom did with or for us. There are wonderful memories surrounding shopping adventures, family holidays, greek salad movie nights and hanging out on her bed watching her get ready for a date night with my dad. Those are things I hope to share with Bethany and Audrey, giving them those memories and so many more as they grow up. I thought about how there are ways they disciplined us that worked wonders, conversations that we had that left an impact and decisions they made as parents that have shaped me into who I am, that again I'd like to emulate. It's natural, when heading into uncharted waters to use the GPS you have and as parents, our best guide is written by those who went before us. Let's call them our Elders (because just writing it makes me giggle, she'll always be older, HA!) and I'm only slightly kidding.

But like many mothers I also looked at the things that didn't work (or so I thought, before I had kids). Things that I didn't like, that angered me, the stuff that ultimately irked me. Some of it, I haven't repeated, not because they were wrong but because those choices are wrong for my personality to enforce and wouldn't be effective for the little people that I am raising. But there are others, like "Say Yes Mom" that I have used, in spite of all my good intentions. I now realize that after asking my girls to do something, or after having reprimanding them, having them answer me with "Yes Mom" is a sign of respect and that they have understood what they're told. I also make them repeat said instruction (eg. "What did Mommy say?" "Don't hit" "Why did I say that?" "Because you said I can't, even if I want to" - Good enough)because again, it makes sure these little girls who are much smarter than I thought 1 and 3 year olds could be, understand what I mean.

I always thought my parents punished us with a little bit of joy. I knew that they'd rather we were perfect all of the time, but I always thought that in those moments that we weren't good and needed a consequence, that they took some pleasure in giving it. I've learned, the hard way, that's not true. The "it hurts me more than you " phrase it so true. I didn't expect punishing Bethany and Audrey to leave me physically exhausted and weak. Ready to burst into tears because I'm afraid I'm a "bad Mom". I know I'm not, they're good kids, they're loved and cherished and while tempers can run rampant (you wait until I share AJ's temper moments, they make B look like the Dalia Lama. Ok, so not quite, but close.) some days, I have nothing major to complain about. But that doesn't mean that I like being the meanie, it doesn't mean that I love saying "No" 450 times an hour or, that I've come to like the realization that there are times that I am my Mother.

There's been a lot of brain power delegated to the thinking of this such matter, in my over cluttered head these past few weeks and I've come to a conclusion. See, I wondered why I was so concerned with being my Mother, why repeating my "I'll never" moments, leaves me feeling raw, I mean really, what's the big deal?

The thing is, it's in those moments when I'm faced with a child who's unbelievably frustrating, throwing a monster tantrum over something as silly as getting the wrong colored cup (it's serious business ya'll) that I realize, why she did it. She did it because she loves me, because she was at her wits end and she, like the rest of us, ultimately wanted to see me become a good person. And it's in those moments, or maybe the ones that follow, that I'm filled with guilt and shame.

I mocked her for those things, I turned my nose up at her, I scoffed and I put the blame on her. I never took a look at my role in the acquisition of the punishment, I never looked at the whole picture of how hard her day was or at how stupid I was being (16, period, attitude, UGLY), I was wrong. I hurt her with words or looks of disapproval and disgust. We carried on, but some 10 years later, the dust has cleared and my rose colored glasses have turned from muddy brown to clear and I can see the heart behind the choice.

We've talked it over, I've apologized, we've laughed, I've cried, she's smiled and nodded. She was there once, she was in my shoes, looking at a very large plate of humble pie, facing the woman who'd raised her with the same love and respect and feeling the same shame. And ya know, she was given the same gift I was, the gift that I'll one day pass onto my girls, one that if you're as lucky as I was, you'll get one day too. A hug and a smile, and she'll say, "It's ok honey. I love you and I told you so"